


A New Dream

by littleoopie



Category: Free!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Nanase Haruka, Bottom Tachibana Makoto, Break Up, Chef Nanase Haruka, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, Multi, Nanase Haruka and Tachibana Makoto Don't Grow Up Together, Switching, Top Nanase Haruka, Top Tachibana Makoto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-08-13 02:29:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20166661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleoopie/pseuds/littleoopie
Summary: Haru is having a bad day. The restaurant needs him to go to the farmer’s market and he sees something he wishes he didn’t. He didn't grow up with Makoto and grew up with Rin instead. But even though his heart is breaking he still continues on. He meets a new man and discovers new dreams. This is a MakoHaru fic.





	1. The Farmer's Market

**Author's Note:**

> I have this idea that Haru growing up with Rin and without Makoto would have to be a bit more vocal. After all, it's Makoto who basically has telepathy with him, but Rin doesn't. So, growing up with Rin he would have to have learned to express himself a little better.

He knew it was over when he saw the love of his life smiling at a woman the way he used to smile at him. He wasn't supposed to see it. It was a fluke; a mistake. Haru was supposed to be at work, slaving away as a sous chef in a fancy French restaurant, but everything had already gone wrong today. Jack was sick, which meant that all of the prep-work had been pushed on to others, and then the daily shipment of produce had been cancelled because of an accident that shut down the entire highway--both sides.

So, Haru found himself here, in the city--looking for enough fresh ingredients to whip together something quick and refreshing. That’s what people want in the summer, right? Refreshing. The daily menu was already shot, so why not completely upend the day and make a gazpacho or lemon pasta? So what if it wasn’t technically French. Most American’s don’t even know what to expect. He expected to find some tomatoes, herbs, and lemons at the farmer’s market. What he didn’t expect was to see Rin and a beautiful woman holding hands and looking at a bunch of asparagus.

His first thought was, _What the hell? He HATES asparagus_. His second thought was, _He never looks at me that way anymore._ He fought the temptation to turn and run. By now they were only about 10 feet apart. It’s surprising that Rin hadn’t seen him yet; evidence that Rin was enraptured by the woman at his side.

The past three years had been a struggle for them. Rin’s dreams of swimming professionally were cut short after an amazing debut and a tragic injury in his first professional season. Haru had watched the light and ambition fade from his eyes. Rin, the boy he had loved since he was five--the boy who pushed him and whose fire consumed him--started to fade. Rin replaced swimming with beer and video games. _Nothing wrong with that_, Haru had thought. _Give him a year, he’s adjusting. He needs to find something that he loves again._ Even then, Haru had never thought that he would be enough. His love for Rin couldn’t overcome the crushing defeat of a lost dream.

They grew distant. Haru had to pick up more shifts at the restaurant since the sponsor money disappeared, and soon became sous chef--a title that led to even longer days and more responsibility. He would come home to find Rin passed out on the couch, empty beer cans on the coffee table and XBOX One controller cradled in his hand. Or a black screen on the TV asking him if he’s still watching whatever new show he’d been binging.

The house was a wreck; it smelled like stale beer and neglect. It was an apt representation of their failing relationship.

But seeing Rin smile at the blonde woman--who looked at him like he held the moon--broke Haru’s heart. _I guess I wasn’t enough_, he thought sadly.

It’s not that they hadn’t tried. Haru knew that he tried. He asked for time off so that he could spend entire weekends with Rin. He planned those weekends to be filled with days spent in bed--reacquainting themselves to all of the pleasures they once knew. But when the weekends rolled around something always interrupted. They got into an argument, the restaurant had an emergency and he needed to come in, the part-time job Rin found had a call-off and needed him to work...something. And even on the weekends where it seemed everything was going right, they found themselves fumbling and frustrated. So far from the smiles and soft laughs that used to fill their bedroom.

Haru knew that Rin tried, too. With swimming torn away from him, Rin couldn’t bring himself to go to any pool. It hurt him too much. That meant his college degree in coaching with a special certification for swimming was almost useless. He couldn’t force himself to watch and help other people achieve the dream he ached for. So, instead, he got a part-time job at a convenience store. He didn’t want the responsibility of being a manager, so he worked with high-school kids stocking shelves, even though he was 25.

Twenty-five. When he was young, and special--a prodigy--Haru had thought that his days would be full of water. The bath, the pool...anywhere with the calming movement of the clear liquid caressing his skin. Now, at 25, Haru had given up swimming. It was a shock to anyone who had known him. But, he couldn’t do that to Rin. He couldn’t go and swim and come home smelling like chlorine and all of the possibilities of their youth. When Rin’s dream ended, Haru’s affair with swimming had too.

Lost in his thoughts, Haru suddenly remembered where he was. He looked over and saw Rin staring straight at him. At some point he must have let go of the woman’s hand. Seeing the blonde, now, standing a few feet away from Rin, Haru realized that she was young. Maybe 19...maybe. She was gorgeous. Athletic and thin, tall for a woman. Blonde hair that cascaded down her back in soft waves. Haru was surprised that her eyes were brown when she looked at him, with her red lips parted slightly in shock. Shock? Why was she in shock? _Ah, I guess she knows about me…_ he thought.

The strange thing was that he wasn’t angry. Not at her and not even at Rin. When he finally looked at his boyfriend, _Can I even call him that, now?_, he saw apprehension and guilt in his maroon eyes. Apprehension...toward him? Those eyes had witnessed all of Haru’s important firsts. The first time they blushed and held hands walking home from school in 7th grade. The first time Haru went in for a kiss, because Rin was too afraid to do it. The first time they fumbled open their clothes to learn each other’s bodies in ways nobody else had learned. The smiles and the crinkles at the edges of those eyes when Rin looked at him--so full of love and longing. The unspeakable happiness that shone in them when they moved to the city and got their first apartment. The pride, even through the cloud of pain, when Haru was promoted to sous chef. Haru had thought those eyes would follow him, lovingly, their entire lives. And now, they looked at him with apprehension and guilt.

“Haru…” Rin choked out. “What are you doing here? It’s Thursday...you work early on Thursdays.” The words started out strong but by the end of his sentences they were barely a whisper.

“Yeah,” Haru replied. “Jack was sick, the delivery was cancelled, and I came here to look for fresh ingredients for today’s specials…” His curiosity was getting to him. He knew that if he didn’t mention anything Rin would let this entire encounter fade. Rin was so brave, and such a fighter, but since his injury he had learned to hide. Hide his disappointment, hide his feelings, and mostly, hide from Haru.

“So, who’s your friend?” Haru can’t believe he asked that.

Rin turned beet red and made a dismissive gesture with his hand. The poor girl looked between them. Haru could tell that she was hurt at being dismissed so easily, but was also horribly uncomfortable with Haru’s attention on her.

“Don’t, Rin...you looked...happy,” Haru said, quietly. Now, the girl looked at the ground, cheeks red, embarrassed by Haru’s words.

Rin looked at her and reached out to take her hand. He looked apologetic as he scanned her face and then looked over, sadly, at Haru.

“Haru, this is Marie. She works with me at the store. Marie, _this_ is Haru.” He said it just like that. With the emphasis on this. Like, she was supposed to know. Know what, though? Him? Who he was? Who he was in relation to Rin? Or, even scarier--what Rin currently felt about him? The way he said it made it seem like they, Rin and Marie, had talked at length about him, and Haru was scared.

Luckily, he was an expert at masking his feelings. Rin would see through it, but Marie wouldn’t know. He forced his face into a disinterested mask--as if he, too, knew who she was. As if he and Rin talked about her all the time.

“Hi, Marie. It’s nice to meet you.” The years may have perfected the bored mask on his face, but they also perfected the socialization of what to say when. His younger self would have just looked at her, half-lidded eyes calculating. But, then again, his younger self wouldn’t ever have been in this situation. Rin would have told him about her. Rin would have told him about anyone who had claimed a spot in his life. There were times when Rin hadn’t shut up about dogs that he had met while walking to school. But now, Haru realized sadly, that man wasn’t the man standing in front of him.

Rin looked at Haru warily. He knew. He knew that Haru was getting messed up in his head. Somehow Rin had always been able to see it. Lately, though, he hadn’t been acting on it. He didn’t rush to comfort him or wrap his arm around his shoulders like he used to. Lately, he’d been ignoring it. Acting as if he didn’t recognize the signs of Haru being stuck.

Haru had never been a talker. Sure, he talked when he needed to. But, for the majority of his life he was able to rely on others without having to do the work of talking. It’s not that he couldn’t do it. It was just that it made him uncomfortable. He was too vulnerable. The only one he had ever trusted with his thoughts was standing here in front of him, holding a young woman’s hand. Haru knew that this would do nothing to help his abandonment issues.

“It’s nice to meet you, too, Haru,” Marie said, her voice smooth and rich. She sounded like she could be one of those recordings you hear when you call companies. Her voice was so...calm? Sweet? Beautiful? No, it was all of those things. “Rin’s told me a lot about you. It’s so nice to finally put a face with a name.” She was oblivious to how her words struck at Haru’s heart. _Rin hadn’t even shown her a picture of me? What does she think I am to him? His best friend? His roommate? I doubt she thinks I’m his lover--and given it’s been months, maybe I’m not any more…_

Haru looked in front of him and saw the poor vendor at the table staring at them unashamedly. He was tall, with brown hair, green eyes, and broad shoulders. His eyes were wide. Even if Marie didn’t recognize the true meaning of this chance meeting this man did. Somehow, he had watched it all unfold and recognized the depth of heartache that Haru was feeling. The man watched Haru sympathetically and flinched when Haru caught his eyes.

“I’ll take 3 dozen tomatoes, 2 dozen lemons, 5 bunches of basil, and--do you have any garlic?” Haru had decided to end the spectacle. He knew he and Rin would have to talk, but this wasn’t the place for a possible life-altering discussion on their future.

Rin’s mouth dropped open. Haru knew that Rin couldn’t believe Haru was going to ignore this. And, Rin was right. He wasn’t. But, he wasn’t going to deal with it now.

“Ah--yes,” the tall man croaked. He cleared his throat. “Yes, we have all of that. Did you want to choose your own produce or do you want me to pick it for you?” he asked.

Haru assumed that since he was still in his chef’s uniform the man correctly guessed that he was a professional. _Wow, this guy is perceptive._

Rin, however, was not ready to be quiet. “Haru--can we go somewhere so that we can all talk this through?”

“We all?” Haru quipped. “I didn’t realize that Marie had a say in our relationship.” Then he turned to the tall man and said, “If you don’t mind, could you bring all of the produce up here so I can look through it? Thank you.”

Marie’s face had dropped in shock. It was obvious to Haru that maybe she didn’t know the full extent of their relationship. Maybe she thought things were already over. Maybe she thought they were just close friends. But it seemed certain that she wasn’t aware of the years they had spent smiling, laughing, encouraging, and caring for one another. Haru felt kind of sorry for her. She was in over her head, and now she was here, witnessing this. _Poor kid_.

Rin let go of Marie’s hand and reached for Haru’s shoulder. He stopped short of touching once he saw the look on Haru’s face. The bored expression was marred by a tension that Rin recognized. He sighed and pulled away.

“Ok, Haru. Maybe we can talk tonight after your shift?” Rin asked, quietly.

Haru shifted a bit to the right, to get a little farther away from Rin’s reach. “Yeah,” he responded, unsure of what else he could say at the moment. “See you later.”

Haru began picking through the produce the tall man had brought to a second table during the awkward interaction with Rin. By focusing on the tomatoes he barely noticed Rin and Marie slipping by behind him, leaving the market. His breathing started to quicken once they were past him. His heart was breaking in his chest, pounding so loud that he was sure the tall man could hear it. His eyes got cloudy and he tried with all of his might to keep the tears from spilling over. 

He was thankful that the tall man let him look through the produce peacefully. He found a bit of consolation in the menial task of looking at the tomatoes for the perfect ones. He could turn off his brain and push aside his heart to focus on the task at hand. His breathing steadied and his eyes cleared. He still needed to get these ingredients to the restaurant—he’d been gone too long already. The others will be wondering where he is and what’s taking so long. _They’ll have no idea how my life just changed_.

Haru looked at the pile he created. All of the fresh vegetables were stacked haphazardly, looking as if they would topple at any moment. He felt kinship with the pile. Like he, too, was wobbling at a moment when any move could cause him to come crashing down.

A gentle cough broke him out of his reverie. “Excuse me—but, are you ok?”, the tall man asked, his green eyes filled with compassion.

Haru didn’t know how to respond. Was he ok? Not by any stretch of the imagination. But, at the same time, this seemed like the obvious conclusion to something that hadn’t been working. _I couldn’t expect this to continue, right? I couldn’t expect him to have turned from me and then to turn back to me. We both have changed…right?_

A throat clearing broke into his thoughts. _Man, this guy must think I’m a basket case_.

“Ah, yes, thank you. I’ll take these ones here, plus a dozen large bulbs of garlic, and your card. I’m impressed with the quality of produce you have here—it’s easily as good as what we get delivered to the restaurant and since I have an in with the guy who does the purchasing I’d like to pass on your information.” There. Maybe with a bit of flattery and business talk he can diffuse the awkwardness of this entire encounter. He wasn’t lying, though, he really was impressed with the quality, but he was more concerned with ending this day already.

“Of course,” the tall man replied, “let me put those in baskets for you—don’t want to smash anything in bags, right?—and I’ll get the garlic.” He turned away from Haru and began to prepare his baskets. When he turned back he had a piece of paper.

“Uh…I don’t have any cards. I know this seems really unprofessional, but I just started farming last year for fun—like, to get me out of the house, and away from…stuff—and I wasn’t planning on even doing farmer’s markets, but then it all got to be a bit much, and I had WAY too many zucchini, too many to even give away to friends and family, and then I was like, well, why not rent a spot, and…wait, I’m rambling, aren’t I?” The tall man blushed as he looked at Haru’s unresponsive face.

“Ok, then, if you aren’t interested, it’s fine,” Haru responded, caught off guard with the open way the man just told him half of his life story—_ok, so maybe that’s an exaggeration_.

“No, no, no,” the man assured. “I just meant that I don’t have cards—I’ll gladly give you my contact information. It’s just going to be written—poorly, might I add—on a regular piece of scrap paper? If you still want it?” 

Haru chuckled at the floundering man. _Wait—when’s the last time I chuckled at anything?_ “Here, I have good penmanship—give me the paper and tell me your information. I’ll write it down and then it can be read by my colleagues.”

Haru looked up and saw the man blushing. _Did my chuckle catch him off guard?_ The man got a piece of paper and handed Haru a pen.

“Ahem, ok, then. My name is Tachibana Makoto; or Makoto Tachibana if you prefer the Westernized way.” Haru was surprised that anyone in the US introduced themselves in the Asian way. Maybe Makoto was a newer transplant—first-generation Japanese? Haru was second generation, his grandparents having come when they were both young and stayed in the States.

“Ok, do you prefer Makoto or Tachibana?” Haru asked. _It’s better to find these things out before I go and do something stupid like offend him by being too familiar. Even though he seems like the open type._

“Oh, Makoto’s fine. The only time anyone calls me Tachibana is when we go to visit Japan to see my grandparents,” Makoto replied. So, Haru was right. Maybe this chance encounter would end up being not completely terrible and work out to both of their benefit. Haru could get better produce (and after seeing the prices probably save the restaurant some money) and Makoto could get steady clientele. Haru guessed that selling at farmer’s markets wasn’t the most reliable income.

“Ok, Makoto. What’s your phone number and email address—and do you have a website?”

Makoto blushed again. Haru wasn’t sure if it was because of being called his name (_silly, that’s what names are for_) or if it’s because he was embarrassed by something. Makoto told him he didn’t have a website and gave his number—_a local number, nothing embarrassing about that_…and then gave his email…sexyback100@gmail.com…_oh, yeah, that’s embarrassing_.

Haru snorted. “Why…no…it’s none of my business. But, I would suggest that if you’re serious about having a larger clientele you get a new email…?” He phrased it as a question, unsure as to whether Makoto was serious about selling his produce.

Makoto sighed, “Yeah—that wasn’t my idea! My friend, who is a big meddler, made it for me and I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was embarrassing…he thought I should be proud of the fact that in high school I won the sexy muscles contest from our swim team, and, I’m not like him, though, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings…so I kept it…” The words trailed off and Haru looked at him incredulously. _Does he just tell everybody everything? Does he just let people get away with things because he doesn’t want to hurt their feelings?_ Haru was lost.

How do you end a discussion that began when someone witnessed the most heart-wrenching thing you’d experienced in the past decade or so, and then ends in the offhanded ramblings of a blushing man? For Haru, you maintain the bored mask and turn with your baskets to the register.

“How much?” He asked, and after paying he folded up the piece of paper with Mokoto Tachibana’s contact information on it and put it in his uniform pocket. He grabbed the baskets and turned to leave, not knowing what to say.

“Wait—”, Makoto’s voice rang out before he was even two feet away from the table. “What’s your name?” Makoto asked.

“Haruka Nanase”, Haru replied, succinctly. No need to explain that he hates the name Haruka. _It’s not like we’re going to be seeing each other again._

“Ok, Haruka,” Makoto said. Haru cringed.

Makoto looked Haru directly into the eyes and softly said, “I really hope you’re ok.”


	2. At the Farm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hours after Makoto’s meeting with Haru, he is back at the farm—questioning every move he made at the market. Nagisa helps him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments/kudos! I never knew (for the author) how much each comment and kudo made your heart race with happiness--now I do, and I want to thank you all for making me feel that way. :)

Makoto was at a loss. What the hell do you do when you witness someone caught cheating on their partner? Maybe he was being too sensitive. Maybe it wasn’t what he thought. _Maybe the guy with red hair, Rin?, wasn’t really seeing that pretty girl. Maybe he was just helping her out and they were having some fun? But the look on Haruka’s face…_

Makoto couldn’t forget it. It’d been hours since he got back from the market, but it had stayed in his head the entire time. He worried that he probably hadn’t been that attentive to the few customers that came to the table after Haruka left. While farming had started as just a hobby to take his mind off of the loneliness he felt, it really was helping to pay the bills—_I need to make sure that the customers know how much I appreciate them, and ignoring them to think about Haruka Nanase isn’t the way to do that._ _BUT, with Haruka as a new connection maybe I’ll be able to make some more reliable money—he works at that fancy restaurant…maybe it’ll all work out and I’ll get a new, big customer._

Makoto walked through the field checking out his produce. At this time of the season there wasn’t as much upkeep as there was in the beginning of the season. Were the weeds pulled? Yes. Had there been rain the past day or two? Yes. It was Thursday afternoon; he wouldn’t get back to the farmer’s market until Saturday morning. Some of his brother’s and sister’s friends were already heading to the house, he paid them a little to help them out during the summer. If this got any bigger he’d need to actually hire people—and not just some high-school kids who liked to mess around in the sun during the summer. He wasn’t a hard supervisor. In fact, he caught more than one couple at it among the rows of corn. Usually corn stalks are high enough to hide anything, but that day he was just…lucky? _No, definitely not lucky._ _There aren’t many jobs where you get to have sex on the clock and when you get caught your boss gets flustered and apologizes. Wow, I need to get laid…_

Those are definitely not thoughts he should be having right now. Not with what he had witnessed today. Not when the most beautiful man he had ever seen got his heart crushed so unfairly. Sure, Makoto didn’t know Haruka at all. Sure, maybe Haruka was an asshole and this Rin guy had ample reason to hold some girl’s hand. Makoto doesn’t know them. Maybe they were in an open relationship—_no, that wouldn’t explain the look on Haruka’s face; or the despair in his eyes when he tried not to cry over the tomatoes._

_God, I’m sure I looked and acted like such an idiot. _He hadn’t known what to do. How do you go from watching that to handling a business transaction in the same encounter? _You don’t bumble around like a blushing buffoon_, Makoto thought—proud of his mental alliteration. But he realized that he had acted like a buffoon. He hadn’t helped out at all—he hadn’t made Haruka feel any better. Instead, Makoto was sure he made a bad situation even more uncomfortable for Haruka.

He fumbled, and he rambled, and why? Sure, Haruka was stunning.His hair was so black, Makoto swore there were navy highlights to it. His body was fit and lithe, he had to have been—maybe even continued to be—an athlete. And that was just what he noticed before Haruka had looked at him. Makoto felt the heat in his face as he recalled that moment. Haruka, in a white chef’s uniform, with his pale skin contrasting with his black hair, stood there, staring at a red-headed man and a blonde woman. Staring so hard, his focus lost.

At first, Makoto thought that he was just zoned out. _It happens, right? You see something and it reminds you of something else, and you brain goes there for a while, and you’re unaware of the fact that you’re standing there staring into space. Hah, that happens to me almost daily_, Makoto chuckled to himself. But then the red-head, _Rin?_, saw Haruka, too. That’s when Makoto knew what was happening. The red-head stumbled a bit into the young woman. It was obvious he was startled and scared—and the way he pushed her away while looking at Haruka explained why.

He tried not to listen to their conversation. That would be rude and Makoto was a lot of things, but he wasn’t rude. But, even with trying not to—he couldn’t tear his eyes away. And then Haruka turned to him, obviously trying to end the scene, and Makoto had short-circuited. He had never, in all of his 25 years seen anyone as attractive as the man who looked at him then. Part of it might have been the look on his face. The heart-wrenching sadness that he was trying so hard not to show. It was melancholy personified. He was gorgeous.

No, Makoto didn’t have a strange kink for sadness. But, he was someone who—despite his complete inability to do anything remotely artistic—was able to recognize beauty in everything, including sadness. There was a longing in the eyes that went straight to Makoto’s heart. He was a sucker for sad movies; especially ones where there was unrequited love. _What the heck is wrong with me? It’s not as much fun when you’re living it. I’m sure he’d be just as beautiful if he were smiling._

Makoto shook his head to break himself out of his thoughts. He looked to the house and saw his siblings sitting on the porch with their friends, drinking something to fight against the heat. _I wonder what Nagisa is doing?_ He walked to the house and was greeted by the teenagers, still so young and full of promise. He was glad that he was able to help them out over the summer break. It might not be much, but their parents trusted him (_Should I tell the Jacksons that I caught Jan and Ron in the corn field? Gah…)_ and allowed them to help him out. It made him feel useful—more useful than he had felt in years.

Walking through the screen door he pulled out his phone and went to call Nagisa, his best friend, the terror of his life. After 2 rings the phone was answered, “Mako-chan!” Makoto couldn’t believe that Nagisa continued to call him Mako-chan. A few years ago Nagisa got addicted to manga and anime—he thought it was hilarious (and cute) to add the -chan. While Nagisa was ethnically Japanese (_I still don’t see it…) _his personality was completely American. Loud, funny, didn’t take himself too seriously, but was still aggressively in your face—but those traits covered the inner workings of Nagisa Hazuki. He was brilliant. You wouldn’t think it right off the bat. Why would you? His outward expression blinded you to the fact that he was calculating what to say and what to do. It’s not that he was narcissistically manipulative, it was more that he was taking everything in and was doing things that would benefit everyone—well, at least everyone that Nagisa cared about. And one of those people, luckily, was Makoto.

“Hi, Nagisa. What’s going on today? Are you busy?”

“Mako-chan! I’m never busy for you—unless Rei is here, and then it’s, like, I wouldn’t even have answered the damn phone, you know?” Rei was another Japanese-American who moved in a few years ago and almost immediately stole Nagisa’s heart. It had made Makoto happy for his friend. A lot of people hadn’t been able to see the connection—one boy was a bookish know-it-all and the other was, outwardly at least, a complete and total ditz. _Ha, Rei is just as much a ditz as Nagisa and Nagisa is just as smart as Rei. I wasn’t surprised at all._

“Ha, yes, Nagisa, I know. And I’m super glad about that, because you remember that one time that you DID answer the phone and then I was trying to talk to you and all I could hear was—well, was…was…” Makoto couldn’t even finish that sentence, he was so thoroughly embarrassed.

“HAHAHA—YES! That was AMAZING! It was soooo funny. You and Rei were both soooo embarrassed! It was the best…maybe I SHOULD answer the phone again. I mean, Rei acted embarrassed when we were still on the phone, but once you hung up—”

“—OK! Nagisa, please!” Makoto could feel the flush go up to his face. He was glad none of those teenagers could see him now. He’d never hear the end of it. He walked into the kitchen, put the phone up between his shoulder and his ear, and opened the refrigerator. Looking for a drink he decided on iced tea and began to get to what he had called about.

“So, today was a weird day.”

“Weird? How? What happened? Did you find Jan and Ron in the corn again?!”

_WHY had I told him about that? It had only happened once. Ok, maybe twice. Either way, other things happen in my life, too!_

“Uh, no. Not that. I was at the farmer’s market—”

“Oooh and you broke another heart when you told some young girl you weren’t interested?!”

“Uh, no. And what do you mean ‘another’?”

“Oh, come ON, Mako-chan! You’re the county’s most eligible bachelor, I swear. You’re tall, and handsome, and sooooo kind, and you make this face with those eyes that just looks like the most adorable thing EVER! Plus, you’re jacked. Like, totally. How the fuck have you maintained your physique? No—for real. I’m seriously asking. ‘Cause I’ve been watching my diet and exercise since I got into my 20s and it’s just not the same. So—what’s your secret?”

Like usual, Nagisa had completely hijacked the conversation. Makoto chuckled.

“Well, first of all, I still work out regularly. I swim and am constantly on the move. You’re stuck at a desk all day—that’s what happens when you decide to go to grad school. You’re definitely smart enough for it, but your body isn’t used to being stuck in one place. Then there’s the drinking. Man, your grad school friends seem to go out a lot. I know it’s fun, but those are empty calories…”

“Maaakoootooo…you’re no fun.”

“I know, I know. Now can I tell you about my weird day?” Now that he thinks he got Nagisa back on track, he was ready to tell him the story of the Misadventures of Haruka. _Yeah, the Misadventures of Haruka Nanase. He’s my tragic figure that I’m silently rooting for. I want him to succeed. He deserves to smile…I bet his smile is amazing…_

“Oh, yeah! Tell me about the weird day.”

—

“So, after what felt like 20 years rambling and telling this amazingly gorgeous guy my life story—and sounding like a complete idiot who has had a horribly boring life…like, who the heck starts FARMING for fun, Nagisa? I mean, sure, we know it was more therapeutic than anything, but still, HE doesn’t know that. So, after all of that, he asks me for my contact info and guess what I have to give him…”

“YES!”

“No, Nagisa. No—it was so embarrassing. It was the worst thing ever. Tonight I’m making up a regular email address, like just my name or something. How can I ever look into his eyes again? I’m so mortified.”

“Wait a minute—what did he say?”

“Well, actually it was like he gave a little laugh and then told me that maybe I should get a more professional email address.”

“Wait a minute—he laughed?!”

“Well, I wouldn’t really call it a laugh, maybe more like a snort. A sniff? Just like a puff of air. Why?” And this was where Nagisa excelled. _Right now he’s analyzing every social interaction I’m relaying. It’s amazing. He’s not stopped by fear or anxiety, he just observes and analyzes. _Nagisa always surprised Makoto with this. After all of these years, it shouldn’t surprise him, but it still did. Makoto was able to read social situations well. He could generally make people feel better when they were upset or stressed, but sometimes his worry and anxiety took over. But Nagisa? He just took it all in.

“Ok, Mako-chan—get some! Woohoo!”

“Um…Nagisa, did you even hear the story? This guy was basically finding out that his boyfriend was seeing a really pretty girl right in front of my eyes. The entire thing happened in front of me. What would ever lead you to believe that I would get some?”

“Oh Mako-chan…Mako-chan, Mako-chan, Mako-chan. My little cinnamon roll. You witnessed all of that and then STILL managed to make the beautiful man laugh.”

“It wasn’t a laugh!”

“Ok, then. A chuckle? A snort? A sniff? A not-horrible reaction after a horrible interaction with his soon-to-be ex?”

“Um, well, obviously I don’t know what’s going to happen between them. I mean, it’s possible that Haruka is fine with it, and…”

Nagisa sighed, “Mako-chan. Listen to me, HARUKA will soon be single. And HARUKA asked for your contact information. Maybe he didn’t realize why he did it. Maybe he didn’t realize that you are the catch of the county. Maybe he really thought it was all because of the ‘quality of your produce.’ But what he was really checking out was the ‘quality of YOUR produce’.”

Makoto could practically hear the eyebrow wiggle over the phone. This was why he rarely FaceTime’d Nagisa. He didn’t need to. He already knew exactly what expression he was making. Plus, Nagisa had a tendency to look at himself in the app and not at the person he was talking to and it kind of weirded Makoto out.

“Ok, Nagisa, I get what you’re saying. I don’t agree with it at all, but I get it.” Makoto looked at the clock and it was already after nine. While this might be prime time for Nagisa it was starting to get late for Makoto. “But, it’s already been hours and nobody from the restaurant has called me. Maybe he felt uncomfortable, and in order to get away from my awkwardness as politely as he could he came up with an idea to get me to stop asking him if he was ok and instead talk abut business.” Really, to Makoto, that seemed more likely.

“Uh-huh, sure, Makoto. Just because he hasn’t called doesn’t mean anything. Maybe the person who makes the inventory orders was out? Maybe he felt weird calling because he realized that you would expect him to be grieving, not drooling over the next Mr. Haruka. Yeah, that’s right, you’re going to change your name. Mr. Haruka. That sounds good. Mr. Makoto Haruka.”

“Nagisa! What the heck? First of all, his name is Haruka Nanase. I know you are aware of how these things work. I would never be Mr. Haruka. Second—I’m sure he isn’t interested, so the idea of anyone being in any type of relationship where names are changed is unrealistic, ok? Please, Nagisa, don’t.” The last sentence was a whispered plea.

“Sorry, Makoto. I didn’t mean to bring up—”

“No, Nagisa, it’s fine.”

“So, Haruka Nanase, huh?”

“Oh, dear God, no.”

—

_Why did Nagisa have to bring that up?_

Makoto was unable to sleep, tossing and turning, and picturing a pretty girl with brown hair and eyes. She looked at him sadly, her fingers going to the diamond ring that was on her ring finger. In the visions he could never exactly remember what she said or did next. He knew that she seemed miserable, but if that was the case, why was she doing this? He remembered that her hands trembled when she handed him the ring, but after that things got fuzzy. Was he alone? Were people with him? Did he cry? Did he just stand there looking at the spot where she had been? How do people fall apart? After years of support and love, when they were supposed to be on the cusp of the rest of their lives? What happened? _I still don’t know. I still don’t understand. Sure, she might have said it was her fault and her problems. But what problems? What faults? Why does leaving allow you to remain silent? Why couldn’t she give me some answers? Was I too much? Did I meddle too much? Did I worry too much?_

Morning finally rolled around, like it always does, whether you’re happy or heartbroken, have slept all night or barely at all. At least he didn’t have the market today. He could basically relax and supervise the kids. _Ha, supervise. Right._

The phone rang. _Holy crap—it’s not even 7 yet. Who the heck is calling me? I hope everything is ok. _Makoto reached for his phone from the nightstand and looked to see a picture of Nagisa’s grinning contact photo.

“Nagisa—is everything all right?!”

“Ah, good morning, Mako-chan! Yep, everything is fine.”

“What the heck are you calling me for this early in the morning? Shouldn’t you be getting ready to teach?”

“Nope, during the summer I teach online, so my days—and my nights—are mine! Haha!”

Makoto sighed. How did anyone have this much energy?

“Ok, Mako-chan, so last night you gave me Haru-chan’s full name!” _Haru-chan?! Dang, that sounded really cute._

“Shoot—what did you do?”

“What?! I just did some digging.”

“Nagisa! You’re a history grad student, how are you so good at digging?”

“Mako-chan, what the fuck do you think historians do? We investigate. And, I’m super fucking good at it. AND it’s harder for us to investigate than even investigators or detectives. WHY?!—Mako-chan, this is where you are supposed to ask why—”

Makoto sighed, again, “Why, Nagisa?”

“Because the people we investigate are DEAD! They can’t give us any answers—so we have to really dig. Did they write letters? Did they have diaries? What about their finances? Did they leave tax records? Please, modern investigating is easy compared to that shit. There’s always a trail and I don’t have to go to other cities to request shit from archives.”

It seemed like his rant was over. Makoto knew Nagisa was passionate, but he was often thrown off when Nagisa went on a tirade. “Ok, Nagisa, so what did you find?”

“Well, Mako-chan, get comfortable, because I’m about to tell you everything I found out about Haruka Nanase—the ‘amazingly gorgeous’ man you met yesterday…and BTdubs, I 100% agree. This guy is up there.”

Makoto shifted in bed and made himself comfortable. He knew this would take a while. Nagisa was extremely thorough when it came to his research.


	3. The Apartment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin and Haru have the talk. Haru is confused as to how he feels versus how he thinks he should feel. He has plans for the next day.

After the farmer’s market Haru went back to the restaurant, his mind stuck on the look on Rin’s face during the entire earlier interaction. How happy he looked, then how that happiness had changed to shock and nervousness and guilt, and then resignation. Haru wasn’t looking forward to the talk they were going to have, but he was looking forward for this day ending.

When he entered the restaurant, he noticed that it was bustling. The sun, which had been out for most of the morning, was shining into the dining area, highlighting the smiles on the faces of his co-workers. The dining area wouldn’t open for another hour or two—_what time is it, anyway?_— so everyone was working together to get the area set up.

Once he walked farther in to the area, he heard a loud voice call out his name. “Haru—where the hell have you been?!” A young man with red hair yelled out.

_Asahi’s working today. There goes my quiet._ “I had to run to the farmer’s market for fresh produce since the delivery was cancelled due to that accident.” Despite the fact that Haru liked quiet, he also, secretly, like Asahi. The young man was about the same age as Haru and had been working there for a year as a waiter. His upbeat personality made him popular with the clientele.

Momo (Momotaro), the other waiter on duty right now, turned from where he had been unstacking chairs and said, “I saw the news report on the accident! It seemed like it was going to shut down the highway for hours. So many cars were stuck. Luckily, it wasn’t deadly at all, but still—so much stuff was messed up!”

Haru nodded and walked toward the kitchen area. Those two were a good duo. They were always upbeat and the dining area seemed cheerful when they were on shift together. The other staff this morning were in the kitchen prepping the ingredients for the day. All they were waiting for was the produce Haru had in the baskets.

Walking through the swinging doors, Haru placed the baskets on the stainless steel counter near the sink and began washing the produce. Michelle, the head chef, came up to his side and picked up a tomato, examining it critically.

“Hey, this is nice. It’s got great color, and feels like nice, firm flesh. Where’d you find this?”

“I went to that farmer’s market that’s on 5th and Main on Thursday mornings. There was a vendor there who had a bunch. I got his contact info and I’ll give it to you once my hands aren’t wet.”

“Ok. If everything else is as good as this seems to be, I’d be fine with switching our produce supplier.” She turned and went back to creating the menu for the day. Haru had been right. She decided on a gazpacho; these tomatoes would be the center of the menu.

—

The fast pace of the kitchen, especially with a popular lunch item on the menu, made it virtually impossible for Haru to think about anything other than ensuring that everything was running smoothly. By the time things started to slow down, he looked at the clock and realized that his shift was scheduled to end in a few minutes.

_What the hell am I going to do? Rin’s going to be waiting for me to talk. I haven’t even had a chance to really think about what I should do. I know that I love him, but how do I love him? _The thoughts swirled through his head. He had to talk to Rin. He had to figure out what they both wanted—and what Rin needed. _I haven’t seen him look like that in months; maybe even years. _Sure, Rin had smiled in the past few years, but the openness and pure happiness of the smile when he was with Marie was something Haru didn’t want to take away.

Clocking out, Haru walked to the back and changed out of his chef’s uniform, putting back on his regular clothes. He was nervous at the fact that in less than a 20 minute walk, he would be home. In the apartment he shared with Rin, who would be there demanding that they talk.

—

Haru walked through the door and noticed that all of the lights were out. Granted, the summer sun was still out, but their apartment was mostly east facing, so the natural light at this time of day was getting dim. He slipped off his shoes and placed them next to Rin’s in the entryway. He walked toward the living room, but didn’t see Rin there—or in the adjoining kitchen. He walked to the bedroom and noticed that their bathroom door was open a crack with steam rolling out of the lit space. He took a deep breath and walked to the door.

Staying outside of the room, away from the cracked door, Haru asked, “Rin?”

He heard a splash and then a cough, “Yeah, Haru, I’m in here.”

“Would you like to come out so that we can talk?”

“Eh, you’ve seen me naked before—why don’t you just come in here?” Rin sounded resigned. It didn’t sound like he was angry, or sad, or even like he was going to beg Haru’s forgiveness. He sounded like he had to talk to Haru about something that he really didn’t want to get into.

Haru slowly opened the door, his face hit with the humidity of the bathroom. Rin was in the bathtub. _The bathtub? _Rin wasn’t ever the type to take baths. In fact, the bathtub largely went unused. Despite Haru’s history with baths that were hours long, since the injury—and the fights—Haru hadn’t taken any. Part of that was because of the demands of the restaurant, and part of that was to stop reminding Rin of their past, their dreams.

Rin looked up at Haru. His hair was stuck to his forehead and his skin was flushed from the heat.A few years ago Haru would have looked at Rin seductively and would take off his clothes to join him. Now, he put the lid down on the toilet and sat down facing his…_friend? Boyfriend? Roommate?_

“Haru…”

“Rin…”

Rin cleared his throat, “Ahem…Haru—please let me talk.”

“Ok.”

“Just so you know, Marie and I haven’t done anything. She knows all about us (_I could tell that from the way she looked at me_) and I’ve been confiding in her about my frustrations. After today she told me that I had to tell you…not about me and Marie, but about me and you.”

_He’s been confiding in her about me? About us?_

“That’s why I thought maybe she could talk along with us. I’m shit at this, Haru. I love you—and, honestly, I’m not sure if it’s still romantic or not. Like, I love you so much that it goes beyond romance. I want the best for you. I want you to succeed. I want you to be happy. I want…,” his voice faded away, and Haru looked at his eyes. Unsurprisingly, they were filled with tears.

_What? I don’t understand._

“Rin, I’ve done everything for us. I don’t understand what you’re talking about. The frustration all stems from the injury. You were depressed and then things started to collapse…and…,” Haru’s voice started to falter. As shit as Rin thought he was with situations like this, Haru was sure that he was even worse.

“—No, Haru! It’s not all from the injury! It’s you! You aren’t the same person anymore! You gave up everything that you were to try and make me happy. But that wasn’t up to you. It wasn’t your responsibility. You used to swim—remember how you would strip off clothes whenever you saw any water that was larger than a rain puddle?! You used to miss first period in school because you were in the bath for hours! Your eyes used to light the fuck up—and now they just stare. And I feel like you’re always monitoring me! You watch me and even when you try to seduce me it doesn’t seem sincere. It’s like you THINK you SHOULD be doing it and then you just watch me to see if I’m into it—and—and,” Rin’s animated words trailed off.

Haru didn’t know how to process this information. Rin was upset with HIM because he didn’t swim anymore? He must’ve been silent for too long, because Rin started back up.

“Come on, Haru! I know you’re processing, but tell me something. Just tell me what you are thinking!” He slammed his hand down into the water, splashing out of the bathtub and onto Haru’s pant legs.

Haru stood. “You want to know what I’m thinking?!” Haru fisted his hands into the fabric of his pants. “I did all of that for you! You were sad, and hurt, and I loved you so I gave it up!”

“But when you gave it up you gave up the part of yourself that I loved!” Rin stood from the bath, the steam rolling off of his body. He was shaking, and crying, and he stepped out of the tub and turned to enter the bedroom. Haru watched him walk away and realized that they both had used the word, ‘loved’. Not ‘love’, ‘loved’. He guessed that was the answer that he had been looking for.

Rin found some clothes and turned around, pulling the pajama pants up his heat-reddened legs. He looked Haru in the eyes. Haru couldn’t tell if the tracks down his cheeks were from the heat in the bath or from the tears that had threatened to fall earlier. He stared at the drops of moisture. He felt like this was their life. He was seeing one thing—what looked like tears—but he wasn’t sure if they were tears or if they were from the heat and humidity of the bath. And that difference was important. He had seen Rin depressed and thought it was because he had to give up his dream. But, in reality it was because Haru had given up who he was? _Does he feel guilty, too?_

They stared at each other. Five feet between them and they stared. It was like they both realized that this moment, here in the bedroom they had shared for the past five years, something was changing. _This is it. All of those years, and I can’t even be mad._

“Haru,” Rin whispered. “I think it’s time that we accept that we aren’t the same people that we were. That doesn’t negate the past we have. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. It doesn’t—”

“—Rin,” Haru interrupted. “It’s ok…” _It really is. I feel calmer than I have since before I saw Rin come out of the ortho’s office and realized that swimming was no longer an option for us. But, he’s right. It wasn’t an option for him. I didn’t know. I didn’t know that me giving up my passions was hurting him._

“Uh, so, I was thinking that I could move into the office until I find someplace to stay. We have the futon in there and it’s not uncomfortable.” Rin looked at Haru and turned his head toward the hallway door. Haru followed the movement with his eyes.

“Rin, I’m not going to kick you out. I know that you can’t really afford a place on your part-time job, and besides, it’s not like we don’t get along fine.”

“Haru—I can’t stay here. It really does hurt me too much.” Rin’s eyes filled with tears again. _So, those were tears…_ “I never wanted you to give up everything for me. Sure, seeing you do what I can’t would have hurt, but seeing you give up something that you love for me hurt even more. I’ve been talking to a guy at work. He’s cool. He’s going to school for physical therapy and he mentioned offhand that he was going to be moving to a 2 bedroom place and he wanted a roommate. Plus, he was a swimmer, too. He had to quit competitive swimming because of an injury just like mine. He’s been in rehab and now he can swim again. NOT competitively, but still he’s in the water. I’ve been talking to him about maybe going that route. Before—after I heard the diagnosis—I was so upset that I tore us away from what had made us happy and had brought us together. And now I look at you and am sorry. I’m so sorry, Haru. I’m sorry that my depression brought us both down. I’m sorry that—”

“—Rin, stop…I’m sorry. I had no idea that I was hurting you.” Haru stepped forward and grabbed Rin into a hug. Rin stood there, stiff and uncomfortable, until Haru could feel his body relax. “I do love you—but maybe you’re right. I don’t know that it’s romantic anymore. But I do know that you mean so much to me.”

He could feel Rin crying, his shoulders shrugging with the silent sobs. Haru didn’t have anything else to say, and he didn’t think Rin could say anything else, so he held him.

—

Friday morning saw Haru walking to the restaurant after barely three hours of sleep. He had thought that they were done talking, but then Rin started opening up. He began telling Haru about his co-workers, and about the guy he’s thinking of rooming with, Sousuke. Rin laughed and cried, and Haru was overwhelmed. He was so happy to have Rin openly talking to him again, getting to know this new Rin, but at the same time, he recognized that there was a boundary there, now. They had pulled away from each other and they wouldn’t be able to go back to what they had been.

_That doesn’t mean that I don’t still love and care for him. God, this is so confusing._ Haru was hurt, but also happy. There was a feeling of possibility for the future that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Anything was possible. But, he was content with where he was. Rin might think that Haru had given up his passion, but he had really given up one passion. He still drew, he still cooked.

He unlocked the back door and went into the locker room to change into his uniform. Opening up his locker he pulled out his shirt—feeling that something was in the pocket. _What the hell? _And then he remembered yesterday. The tall man who bumbled his way through an awkward interaction. _Shit, I forgot to give this to Michelle. _Haru walked to her office and pulled the folded paper out of the shirt pocket. Unfolding the paper he looked at his writing. _Makoto Tachibana._ He placed the paper on the desk and turned around—face to face with Michelle.

“Good morning, Haru,” she said, looking past him at the desk. “What’s up?”

“Ah, I had forgotten to give you the contact for that vendor from yesterday, so I was dropping it off.”

“You did seem really focused yesterday—I’m not surprised you forgot something that was outside of the norm.”

“Yeah…well, I’m going to start morning prep. The delivery should be here soon.”

“Ok, I’m going to be working on next week’s menu. I think I’ll call the farmer’s market guy later.”

—

Michelle walked into the kitchen right at the end of Haru’s shift.

“So, Haru—you didn’t tell me that the guy was BY FAR the hottest guy I’ve seen in the past 20 years.” Well, how the hell would Haru know who the hottest guy she had seen and when was? _Wait—tall guy Makoto is hot? _Thinking back he remembered green eyes, brown hair, and broad shoulders. _And a blush. That was cute._ But he had been so distracted by what had happened with Rin that it’s not like he really even looked at Makoto.

Michelle was still talking about how hot Makoto was, “like, had I know that his shoulders were so broad and that I would be swooning when I saw him bend over to show me some of the zucchini he had I would have worn make-up, at the least. Maybe I would have worn heels. Am I too short for someone that tall? Do you think he’d be against dating someone who’s 38? I mean heels wouldn’t have been practical walking through fields, but…” She obviously didn’t realize that Haru had zoned her out.

_He’s that hot? I don’t think I’ve looked at anyone other than Rin that way for a decade. And even then I was, like, 15/16?, and Rin was so passionate and cute, and…What do I think is hot? I mean, I recognize when people are attractive, but that doesn’t mean that I want to do anything that could lead to anything that would possibly jeopardize what I had. But what about now? I’ve always assumed that I was gay, but what about women? I mean, objectively Michelle is cute. Could I kiss her? _Haru looked at the woman in question, just to realize that she had said his name.

“—you, Haru. Man, you’re lucky.” _Shit, I must’ve missed something good._

“Sorry?”

Looking at Michelle’s exasperated body language he realized that, no, she was NOT his type. At all. She was too curvy and soft looking, despite her being fit. Jack, who was feeling better today, was standing behind her smirking. He was tall, as tall as Makoto was yesterday, his hair on the long side, and pulled up to show his undercut. He had tunnels in his ears, and his gray eyes looked Haru over with humor. _He is hot. How didn’t I notice that?_

Michelle sighed, “Ok, so I guess you didn’t hear any of that last bit?”

“I tuned you out after you said he was hot.” Haru admitted. “He’s hot?”

“Ha! Well, so you missed the part where he asked me—several times, might I add—about you.” Michelle’s eyes squinted at him, appraisingly. “Maybe I wouldn’t have a shot even if he likes cougars…”

Haru was shocked. _What? He asked about me? Must’ve wondered how I was doing after that fiasco of an encounter._

“What did you tell him?” Haru asked.

Michelle looked at Jack, and they both turned and looked at Haru, smirking. “Why, Haru? Are you worried I said something?”

Haru felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time when it came to being teased. Nervousness? Apprehension? The more he thought about embarrassing things Michelle could have told Makoto the more he felt a strange heat creep up his neck and into his face. _Am I blushing?_

“Haru—are you blushing?!” Jack asked, incredulously. “Ha, I never thought I’d see the day when stoic Haru would blush!” _Ok, maybe Jack’s not that hot._

“Well…he works at the farmer’s market tomorrow, and you have the late shift, so I told him I’d send you there to look over the rest of the produce. He’s expecting you and already said he’d be ready with a new email address—hahaha! THAT was a hilarious conversation—and with extra stuff so that you can taste and try whatever you want.” Michelle smiled gently at Haru. “Can you come into my office before you leave?” _What does she want me for?_

After clocking out and changing Haru walked to the office door and knocked twice. He heard Michelle’s voice call out, “Come in!”

Haru opened the door and saw Michelle sitting at her desk with a glass of red wine near her hand. She stood and poured another glass. “Here, take it.” Haru wasn’t one for drinking, usually, but he went to the desk, picked up the wine, and sat down in the chair across from Michelle. She took a sip of the wine and sat, looking at Haru. “Wanna talk about it?”

Haru looked at her quizzically, “What?”

“Come on, now. We’re not idiots. First, you’ve been trying to patch together your relationship with Rin for upwards of two years, at least. You’ve lost the sparkle in your eye when you talk about him. And then, yesterday, you were so spaced out after you went to the farmer’s market. Now, I know you met Makoto there, but I also know you. You wouldn’t have zoned out just because you saw a hot guy. Like, literally all of the guys here are super hot—I know because I hire them—and nobody has ever even made you turn your head and look for even a second longer than was absolutely necessary. Plus, you asked me if he was hot?! So, you didn’t even notice how hot he is. That means that something else must’ve happened—because you were NOT being that weird before you left.” She pushed her chair back a bit and crossed her legs on the desk, taking another decent sized sip from her wine.

“Ok…Rin and I split up.” He took a sip of the wine. _Not bad. Could work with a beef stew._ He avoided Michelle’s gaze, trying to pretend that he was really interested in his shoes. _Huh, I will need a new pair soon…_

“Oh, Haru—I’m sorry. I know that these things hurt.”

“Actually, I’m surprised that it doesn’t really hurt.” He finally looked up at Michelle. He was upset with himself, he felt guilty, andat the same time, he felt more free that he had in years. “I should be more upset than I am.” He put the wine down on the desk and put his head in his hands, pushing his fingers into his hair.

“Are you upset with yourself because you aren’t upset?”

Haru nodded. “He’s going to be moving out. Things just haven’t been working.”

Michelle sat up, placed her wine on the desk, and went over to Haru. She kneeled and put her arm around his shoulders—something she wouldn’t normally do.

“Ok, as a divorced 38-year-old woman I’m going to give you some advice. It might be shitty advice, but it’s advice. Nobody can tell you how to feel. Maybe you are relieved because after all of those years of feeling lonely—while you were supposed to feel loved—could potentially be over. Maybe you think you should be more distraught than you are, but fuck that. You feel what you feel, and it’s ok.” Haru was surprised at her sincerity. Her naturally teasing nature was softened by her past and the conversation.

Haru leaned into the hug, “Thanks, Michelle.”

“Also, some well intentioned people might try to tell you that you should be single for as long as you were with someone so that you can make sure that you are healed. Well, I say feel what you feel. Trust your instincts. Why throw something away that could be amazing just because a book says you shouldn’t be happy yet?”

Haru looked at her, confused.

She smiled, a teasing twinkle in her eyes. “That was to go with the reminder that tomorrow I expect you to meet Makoto at the farmer’s market. He’s super hot, and he was asking about a certain sous chef of mine…”

Haru’s lips twitched into a slight smile, and he shook his head. "Ok, ok..." 


	4. Makoto's Table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the farmer’s market, Makoto and Haru talk and get to know each other surrounded by good food, good company, and sunny skies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will switch between Makoto’s and Haru’s points of view.

Makoto

Yesterday was surreal. Michelle, the head chef of the restaurant where Haruka works, came to the farm and looked at the scope of his fields for the practicality of him being their vendor. Did he produce enough—what would she do when the harvest was over—could he maintain the volume that they would need. _Ha, she must’ve decided it could work—otherwise why would she be sending Haruka to see me today._

That was the other surreal thing. While Makoto was certain Michelle had been checking him out—he might be clueless but he wasn’t an innocent—once he asked how Haruka was he could tell that her demeanor changed. Less flirty and a bit more—protective? _At first she was looking at me like she wanted to take a bite out of me and after one question about Haruka she looked at me like she was about to interrogate me! Was I that obvious? God, I was, wasn’t I? It doesn’t help that Nagisa’s digging made me bit obsessed with the guy. After chatting about him for hours yesterday morning it’s no wonder he was on my mind…_

Makoto looked at himself in the mirror, leaning over the sink and pushing his hands flat on the counter. _You can do this, Makoto. You can sit and talk—for hours—to the most attractive person you have ever seen. He’s just a person. Like you. He might be the hottest person you’ve ever laid eyes on…but, he’s just a person. _After the pep-talk, Makoto straightened up and squared his shoulders. _You got this._

As he walked into the bedroom and toward the closet he began to feel nervous again. _What will I wear? I can’t seem like I’m trying too hard, but I don’t want to wear the work clothes I usually wear—not if I’m going to be with Haruka for hours. Luckily, Ran and Ran are coming with me to run the table while I’m at my meeting with Haruka. _The looks on his siblings' faces were priceless when he told them that he was having a meeting at the farmer’s market and needed help running the table. Sure, they usually helped on Saturdays—it’s a whole lot busier than Tuesdays and Thursdays—but he was still the one in charge. This time they were running it and he was going to be at a back table with Haruka.

_Shoot, maybe I should call Nagisa to help me out? No—he’ll want me to go shirtless. Like, that’s not embarrassing and completely impractical. _He grabbed a red t-shirt and pulled out blue jeans that had holes in the knees, but no stains. _This is as good as its gets since I’ve become a farmer. _He turned to look in his full-length mirror, _at least these are the ones that Nagisa said makes my butt look great. _Walking out of his bedroom he went to the front door and grabbed the keys to the old pickup truck he bought nearly two years ago. Ren and Ran were already loading up the truck when he walked out the door.

“Holy shit, big bro! Who the hell is this meeting with? You look hot!” Ran laughed as she looked Makoto over.

“Uh, well, I told you. It’s a meeting with a chef for a fancy restaurant…” Makoto could feel the heat moving up his face. He always felt bad hiding the truth, but he knew that the teasing would be non-stop if the twins got a whiff of his crush on Haruka.

“Uh-huh…” Ren looked at him sideways, knowing that his brother wasn’t fully telling the truth—an irony given his name.

—

Haru

Haru woke up earlier than usual, walked into the bathroom and did something he hadn’t done in a long time—started drawing a bath. Removing his clothes, he eased himself into the hot water. He leaned back and dunked his head under the steaming surface. He began to get lost in his thoughts.

_What’s going to happen now? Rin’s moving out on tomorrow. He’s going to begin packing stuff while I’m at the farmer’s market and work. I’ll be able to afford this place on my own, but will he be ok? The farmer’s market—and the farmer. Was Michelle just teasing me or was she telling me the truth that Makoto asked about me?_

These ideas swirled in his head. The thought of how strange the rooms will look without Rin’s stuff. They had already agreed that he could come back and get stuff whenever he needed to. It was surprising that they seemed to be getting along better now than they had in the past 2 years. _Maybe it’s the lack of expectations. Because it’s over we’re both free._ When Haru was younger he was obsessed about being free—being unbound to others for his self-worth. When he was a kid that even translated to him only swimming freestyle, because as a kid he thought there was a profound connection there. When he got older he realized that he felt that freeing sensation when he swam any style—but free was still always his favorite. The stroke and the breathing seemed to come naturally to him. _God, I can’t wait to get back into a pool. Maybe I’ll check out the gym and see how the pool is. I’d be willing to sign up for any club that has a pool, though. There’s the place near the restaurant. Didn’t Makoto say that he had been a swimmer in that ridiculously involved story? How come I can remember that but I can’t remember that he was hot? Ha, I’m a fucking mess._

After about an hour the door opened softly. “Haru? I’ve gotta go and there’s a spider in the other bathroom…” Rin looked embarrassed._ I guess I have a spider to kill once I’m done._

“It’s ok. I’m done. I have to meet someone at the farmer’s market before my shift and have to get ready to go.” Haru climbed out of the bath and wrapped a red bath towel around his waist. He walked out of the bathroom, holding the door open for Rin. Rin walked in but must have decided to continue the discussion—leaving the door open a crack.

“Huh? Meet someone at the farmer’s market? Who the hell is at the farmer’s market?” Haru heard Rin unzip his pants as he got ready to piss.

“Remember how when we saw each other at the market I bought some produce from that one vendor?”

“The hot one?!” Rin exclaimed. _What the hell?! Did everyone but me recognize that this guy is hot?_

“Uh, yeah…so the produce was really high quality and we’re thinking of creating a contract with him to be our provider.”

“Are you going to wear the deep blue shirt and those black jeans that make your ass look like heaven?” Rin was finished and zipped up his pants, washed his hands, and reopened the door.

_What? When did he become my wingman?_

“I could. I was going to wear a white t-shirt and regular pants since I have my shift after this meeting.”

“Oh hell no. You have a locker and laundry service at the restaurant for a reason. I know you have a spare white t-shirt and pants in the locker along with your uniform shirt. No way am I going to let you have a meeting with the hot guy wearing a white t-shirt and some random pair of pants. Grab the deep blue one—it makes your eyes look huge and sooo blue—and you HAVE to wear those black jeans. Like, have to.”

Sigh…”Ok, ok, fine.” After Rin left the bedroom Haru went to the closet and began to get dressed. He looked a the full-length mirror and tried to do something different with his hair. It always just would lay flat against his head. It wasn’t a bad look, but maybe if this guy was that hot he should try a bit harder? He looked at his physique as he pulled on his shirt—_not bad for someone who hasn’t swam in years. The heat and bustle of the kitchen really keeps me in decent shape. Gah, my hair is just laying there again. Maybe I could…_pushing his hair back it flopped right back onto his forehead. It wasn’t long enough to tuck behind his ears, but the bangs were getting a little too long for him to see comfortably. _Well, until it either gets longer or I get a haircut, this is going to be as good as it gets._

—

Haru must’ve been nervous. Why else would he be sitting in his car, at a parking meter, near the farmer’s market, fifteen minutes before he was scheduled to meet Makoto? He sighed. _Come on, Haru. Don’t be an idiot. Why is this so hard? It’s not like you’re meeting your future husband or anything…maybe? Gah! What if things go well and we DO hit it off, then what? Ok, ok, no need to stress about that now. Right now it’s only a little produce tasting. You can do this. _Haru lifted his head and looked at his reflection in the rear-view mirror. _Ok, I still look fine. You can’t tell that I’m freaking out on the inside._ _Might as well head out now, staying here another 15 minutes won’t help anything._ Taking a deep breath, Haru opened the driver-side door. He checked his shirt to make sure that it wasn’t all wrinkled from the seat belt, and started walking up the block to the lot that was designated for the market on Saturdays.

Once Haru reached the entrance to the farmer’s market, he saw that it was very busy this morning. _I wonder if he’ll be able to really spend any time with me. I don’t want to detract from his sales by monopolizing his time. _He walked down the line of vendors to the table that had a blue and green canvas awning over it. He knew this was supposed to be where Makoto was, but all he saw were a young man and woman at the table taking care of customers.

“Ahem,” a voice behind him cleared his throat gently. Haru turned and faced Makoto—standing in the sunlight, with the rays of the sun shining in his hair. _Holy shit—they were right. He’s beautiful. Oh, God, he’s smiling. How can he actually get any more attractive? Shit, look at his shoulders. No, wait, don’t look. You have to spend hours with him—don’t stare. Think, Haru—didn’t he just say something? I swear his lips moved. What did he say?_

“Ah, what?” Haru asked, knowing that he sounded like an absolute idiot. He heard a feminine chuckle behind him and realized that the young girl, at least, recognized his mental lapse. He felt the heat creeping up his face. _Blushing?! Twice in one week?_

“Sorry, Haruka, I was just saying that it’s really nice to see you again. I brought a whole bunch of produce for us to try, as well as some fruit—we also have some fruit trees—and local honey from our neighbor who has a little apiary. Why don’t we go behind the stand and I have a small table set up and we can begin? I’m so glad you could make it, you look a lot better than you did the other day. I really hope everything worked out—uh, I’m doing it again aren’t I? You’re looking at me weird. Is this too weird?”

Haru was transfixed by the gentle cadence of Makoto’s voice. It lulled him into a sense of security and rightness that he hadn’t felt in a long time. “Uh, no, this isn’t weird. Yeah, let’s go to the table. It’s nice to see you, too.” Haru was worried that Makoto would think that he was the weird one. Makoto seemed very social, able to read other people. Haru was better at that than he used to be, but he recognized that some people still saw him as awkward. He was fine with silence and did’t have to fill it with rambling. Makoto, obviously, was not like that.

“Sure, come on, let’s head on over! These young’uns are my twin siblings—Ren and Ran. They help me out at the farm and on the weekends at the market. Gosh, I said young’uns, I swear I’m not, like, 65. In fact, I’m 25, so I’m not that old at all. I mean, not that 25 is old……” Makoto’s words rambled on without Haru really paying attention. His voice was so nice and he just kept on chatting and Haru followed him past the twins quietly—looking at his back. His nice, wide shoulders. The perfect V that went down to his waist. The way the sunshine made highlights in his hair. The—Haru walked right into that gorgeous back.

“Oh, Haruka—I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have stopped so suddenly! Here, you can take this seat and I’ll take this one to the right.” _Gah—he’s apologizing to me for something I did. How can this guy get any better? _Haru looked past those shoulders and saw the small table that had two foldable chairs. Going to the chair to the left, Haru pulled it away from the table and sat down. Makoto did the same to his right. They turned the chairs to face one another, so they could more easily interact.

“So, I have quite a few different things here. Let’s start!” Makoto pulled out a basket of different types of vegetables and some fruit. He looked at Haru and smiled. _Shit._

_—_

The time flew by. Haru thinks he smiled more in the three hours with Makoto than he had in years. Sure, his smiles weren’t the beatific grins that Makoto had—that filled his whole face somehow—but he was genuinely happy for the first time in a long time. Makoto filled the silence with funny stories, great descriptions of the foods they were eating, and personal anecdotes of his life as an older brother. The twins, Ren and Ran, had occasionally joined in on the fun when the stall had a lull in customers. Haru could tell that Makoto was well-loved. The twins looked at him with an affection that make Makoto blush. He was too cute. _How often do you find a person who is hot as hell, kind, and cute? Damn, I could really get in over my head here._

Makoto was chatting away about some movie that had been in theaters for a while. “Haruka, have you seen it?”

“No, I haven’t. And, actually, I prefer Haru.”

Makoto’s face turned a deep shade of red. “WHAT?! All of this time I was calling you Haruka and you didn’t say a thing! Why wouldn’t you say a thing? Why wouldn’t you tell me? Man, I feel like such a butthole.” _Ha, cute. Butthole. _Haru’s lip twitched into a little smirk. Truth be told, while he preferred Haru, when Makoto said Haruka—all soft and filled with some underlying meaning that Haru was sure he was reading into—Haru was fine with his full name.

“It’s ok, Makoto—you shouldn’t feel like an asshole. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.” The twins laughed heartily at Haru’s use of language, while Makoto turned an even more improbably shade of red.

Makoto cleared his throat, “Well, then, Haru…” Makoto seemed to stretch out Haru’s name and he thought it sounded so nice in that comforting voice. “You really need to go see this movie! It’s so good—there’s action, and adventure, and outer space, and a little romance, I won’t lie, but it really is well done!” Makoto looked at Haru expectantly.

_Holy fuck—is he asking me out? He is, isn’t he? He’s asking ME out. _Haru noticed that the twins were silent. Sure, a few customers were picking over produce under the canvas awning, but Haru knew that their ears were straining to hear his reply.

“Uh, I think it’s only in theaters for another week, right?”

“Oh! That’s a good question—I’m not sure, but the sooner you see it the better!” Makoto’s enthusiasm was infectious.

“Ok, Makoto. When would you like to go? I’m free tomorrow.” Haru’s voice was so soft he was able to hear a relieved breath from one of the twins.

Haru looked up toward Makoto—whose face was now so red that Haru was getting worried about his blood pressure.

_Oh my god. He WASN’T asking me out! He was just making polite conversation. What the fuck do I do now?! Do I go with it or try and brush it off as if it were a joke? No, that’s horrible. It might make me feel better against any possible rejection, but I don’t want to brush Makoto off._

“Uh, yeah—YEAH! Tomorrow I’m free! Let me see what time the move is playing.” Makoto, all red faced and flustered, pulled out his phone and began searching for movie times. Haru waited patiently, even though he knew that he was going to have to leave soon in order to get to work on time. “Ok, so it’s playing at 4:00. That’s the only showing since it’s an older movie.”

“Ok, Makoto, how about I meet you there tomorrow at 3:45? It shouldn’t be too packed, and we should be able to find seats fairly easily.”

Haru stood from the table and Makoto looked up at him. “Ok, Haru. 3:45” This was the first time this entire afternoon that Makoto was really quiet. He looked at Haru like he was in shock. _Shit. Did I overstep? Maybe he was just being friendly and I took it as romantic interest. He does seem like the friendly type._ Haru turned and saw Ran looking at him with a small smile on her face. _No, maybe I’m reading this right, but Makoto doesn’t realize it yet._ That thought made Haru smile—and Makoto continued to stare.

“Makoto, I have to leave.”

“Oh—yes! Sorry about that! Please let me know about the produce and what Michelle says. Um, I gave you my phone number the last time, so you could get it from her, unless…” Makoto’s voice trailed off hesitantly.

Haru took out his phone, unlocked it and went to add contact. He handed the phone to Makoto and held his hand out for Makoto’s phone. “Here add your info and I’ll do the same.”

“Yes, Haru.” After putting in his information, Makoto’s hand trembled a little when their fingers touched as they exchanged their phones back.

“See you tomorrow, Makoto.”

“See you tomorrow, Haru”

—

Makoto

_OH MY GOD! That couldn’t have gone any better! He actually asked ME out! Holy crap. How did that even happen. Thank you Nagisa for the advice on the jeans._

Makoto pulled out his phone and looked at his new contact. Haru Nanase.

Makoto: _I hope the rest of your day is good, Haru! I’ll see you tomorrow at 3:45. You can text or call me if you need or want to! _Makoto sent the text before he could second guess it.

_Man, I sound like a creeper. I hope he doesn’t think I’m a creeper._

Haru Nanase: _Yes. See you tomorrow._

Haru

Haru walked into the kitchen and the first thing he heard was Michelle asking about his day. “So, Haru—how did it go today? How hot was Makoto?”

“It went fine. He was hot.”

“Just fine?”

“I have a date tomorrow.”

“WHAT?!”


	5. The Theater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto getting ready for this date with Haru and then the date itself—with a little make out at the end of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rating in this chapter is going up. For those of you who don’t want to read Makoto’s self-love in the shower…you can skip it by ending at the sentence, “But that didn’t negate the fact that Haru’s ass and thighs looked amazing yesterday as he walked away from the stall.”, and pick back up after the paragraph break. 
> 
> This is quite honestly the first time I have EVER written any type of smut. Ever. Ever. So, I hope it’s good.

Makoto woke to the sound of rain on the window. The soft pat of the raindrops almost lulled him back to sleep, but then he remembered today—Sunday—was his date with Haru. Looking out the window he saw the skies were a dark gray and the rain showed absolutely no sign of letting up. _Why do I feel this is a good sign? Rain can be so romantic._ Movie scenes of kisses in the rain and holding hands in the rain ran through his head. _Good sign, it’s a good sign!_

Makoto rose from his bed and quickly made it before heading to the bathroom. He didn’t normally make his bed—he was usually a bit of a rushed morning person, but if the rain was a good sign he wanted to be prepared for anything…anything. He wasn’t expecting anything from today, really, at least only a pleasant visit and watching a good movie. But, you never know what will happen and, just in case, he wanted his bedroom to be presentable. _The worst that can happen will be that I come home alone and get into a made bed—which actually isn’t bad. Maybe I should make my bed every day. Well, maybe coming home alone wouldn’t be the worst that could happen—a lot of things could happen…_Makoto had to stop that type of thinking. Otherwise his anxiety would get the best of him and he would psych himself out of the date. _No need to jinx it. We got along well yesterday…really well. It’ll be fine, Makoto._

He went to the sink, brushed and flossed his teeth, and started the shower. Reaching his hand into the spray to check the temperature he smiled. _Perfect_. It was only nine, so he had a LOT of time to kill. Maybe he should’ve taken a bath…that would have taken up more time. _No, I hate washing my hair in the bath, and then I’d have had to take a shower anyway._

Makoto thought about yesterday. How sunny it had been…how beautiful Haru’s smile was…how his lips open and pursed around the food they ate. How he was quiet, but Makoto could tell what he was thinking based on the emotion in his eyes. _Dang if those aren’t the most expressive eyes I’ve ever seen. _He needed to stop thinking about Haru or his shower was going to turn into something he hadn’t been planning. Lathering up a washcloth, Makoto started scrubbing himself. He took a shower last night (he generally was a night showerer) but he wanted to be extra clean and presentable for his date. As he washed his body his mind wandered back to how Haru had looked yesterday—that shirt he wore made his eyes look huge. And the way he looked at him had caught Makoto off guard more than once, leaving him speechless. _It was like he thought I was beautiful with the way he kept staring at me. _Makoto shook his head. _Ha, there’s no way I’m nearly as attractive as he is…but, he DID ask me out._ That had been a surprise.

Makoto could tell that they had a connection. They were getting along really well in the hours that they were together. And then it happened. Haru asked what Makoto was doing—basically asking him to the movie. Makoto thought his heart had stopped. While he thought Haru was gorgeous, and while he knew Haru was open to dating men, he hadn’t thought that Haru would be interested in him that way. He had hoped, but he didn’t expect it.

Makoto knew he was bi—maybe even pan, but while he knew that he was attracted to men as well as women, he had never dated a man. He had never even slept with a man. He had kissed a few when he was younger and in college, dragged to clubs by friends after breakups—but had never had gone any further. Maybe that’s because it was easier to find girls who were interested. Maybe it’s because he is a serial monogamist who went from one long-term hetero relationship to another. But that didn’t negate the fact that Haru’s ass and thighs looked amazing yesterday as he walked away from the stall.

Before he realized what he was doing, his hand brushed along his hard length, and his breath hitched. _Shit. I need to stop thinking about him_. Makoto tried to ignore the throbbing as he continued to clean his body, but the vision of Haru’s ass kept disrupting his thoughts. Giving into temptation, Makoto rinsed off the washcloth and hung it up, turned around to face the shower head and let the hot water cascade down his front. The heat relaxed him further, as the water surrounded him. Sighing softly, he lightly ran his hands down his stomach and to his groin—carefully avoiding where he really wanted to touch. He knew that when it came to sex he was a patient man. He loved to tease pleasure out of both his partners and himself. It left his lovers surprised. Many of them expected him to be the same way in bed that he was generally—soft-spoken and amenable, giving up control. What they didn’t expect was the way embarrassed and bumbling Makoto became patient and in control of the entire situation.

He tilted his head to the side, letting the water run down his neck, imagining that the warmth was Haru’s hands. He could picture Haru, nude in front of him, those huge blue eyes looking up at Makoto with evident desire. Makoto leaned his head down, imagining what those lips would taste like, how Haru’s tongue would move against his, as he finally ran a single finger softly along the side of his cock, making his body shiver at the contact.

He had noticed Haru’s hands yesterday. The man should have been a pianist. He had the longest, most delicate looking fingers Makoto had ever seen on a man. Closing his eyes he imagined that his thick fingers were Haru’s delicate ones, as he wrapped them softly around himself. He could picture Haru looking at him as he slowly pumped his length, those impossibly blue eyes staring into his own. He imagined Haru getting impatient, like many of his lovers had, a little pout forming on his lips. Giving into the imagery he started working his hand a little faster and with more contact, the light touches becoming more sturdy and sure. _Ha, he would look up at me with satisfaction knowing that I’m giving into his impatience. _Makoto could feel the familiar warmth building and decided to give into it, adjusting his fantasy.

Facing the water, Makoto pictured Haru on his knees, glancing up at him with a surprisingly self-satisfied look as he took Makoto’s cock into his mouth. Makoto moaned, realizing that with these images he wouldn’t last long. The water was starting to cool on his skin, making his skin prickle into goose bumps, heightening the sensation. He leaned his left arm against the shower wall, the water now hitting his back as he pressed his face into the crook of his left arm. Imagining Haru’s mouth wrapped around him, he started thrusting into his hand, tightening his hold. His thrusts got faster and his ring and pinky fingers started playing with his balls on the thrusts. Those blue eyes popped into his mind again, looking up at him with tears in their corners as Haru’s mouth stretched around Makoto’s girth, and Makoto shuddered his release, ribbons of come coating his fingers and, embarrassingly, some of the shower wall as he milked it all out, breathing hard.

_How the heck am I going to look him in the eyes now? It was those eyes that pushed me over the edge. How can I look at them without thinking of…this._

Makoto cleaned himself off—again—and took the washcloth and cleaned the shower wall. _Damn, I know it’s been a while, but if that’s what thinking about him does to me I don’t know how I’ll last if we actually DO anything._

_—_

The rest of the morning he tried to ignore the fact that he had gotten off on the image of Haru on his knees, looking up at him. It was funny—as confident as he was in bed (or in his head) after everything was over he often felt embarrassed and uncomfortable with the thoughts and images that made him come. Trying to keep those thoughts from hijacking his brain he attempted to concentrate on normal daily tasks to bide his time. _God, I still have 3 hours before I have to leave. The house is clean, the dishes done and put away—I guess I could wash some clothes. _It’s not really that they needed washed. Since Makoto had bought the farmhouse he now lived alone. Ran and Ren often came to visit him, but they still lived with their parents closer to the city. With the summer they were here more often with their friends, helping with the farming, but still Makoto was the only one he had to clean up after, which made it a relatively easy job. After tossing the small load into the washer Makoto decided maybe he’d FaceTime Nagisa to have him help pick out an outfit for the date.

Rei picked up on the first ring, his blue hair and purple eyes filling the small screen.

“Oh! Hi, Rei! I’m not interrupting…anything…am I?” Makoto tried to not look too closely—he’d rather not get an eyeful of Rei and Nagisa if he could help it.

“Hello, Makoto-senpai, no, we’re completely free. Nagisa is in the other room gathering the snacks for our movie.” Makoto thought it was kinda cute how Rei maintained much of his Japanese culture despite having moved to the States years ago. At first he had been caught off guard by being called ‘senpai’, but after the years spent together he was used to it. He had noticed, though, that now when Rei met new people he tended to do the American thing—first names, no honorifics, and a handshake—a huge difference from when he first moved to the city.

“Oh, I’m sorry!”, Makoto, recognizing that he was interrupting their date time, apologized immediately.

“No need to apologize! Nagisa’s coming back into the room now.” Makoto saw a hand reach for the phone and then Nagisa’s face filled the screen.

“Mako-chan!! How are you today? How did it go yesterday?!” Makoto blushed, remembering how well yesterday went.

“It went well! In fact, he asked me out and we’re going to see a movie in a few hours.” Makoto looked at Nagisa’s face—his mouth was stretched into a wide grin.

“AAAGGGHHH!! Didn’t I tell you?! DIDN’T I TELL YOU?! Rei-chan!! Didn’t I tell you?! I knew it! I KNEW IT! I knew he’d be into you! Rei-chan—did you hear?”

“Of course, I heard, Nagisa—the entire block heard. Congratulations, Makoto-senpai.”

“Thanks, Rei. Thanks, Nagisa.” Makoto shouldn’t have been caught off guard by Nagisa’s reaction, but he was. The sheer exuberance was enough to make Makoto smile. “So, I’m going to the movies with him today and I really wanted some help with picking out what to wear. Like, yesterday I wore those jeans—”

“The ones that make your ass look great?! No wonder he asked you out! I mean, I’ve known you for years and, while I love you, I am not interested in you…you know…THAT way—BUT whenever I see you in those jeans—sorry Rei—there’s a part of me that wants to see how they’d look lying on my bedroom floor!” Makoto’s jaw dropped and he felt the blush start at his chest and work its way up to his face.

Makoto wasn’t surprised that Rei was quick to forgive Nagisa, probably since he knew that when Nagisa was comfortable around people his thought to mouth filter was practically nonexistent. 

“Yeah, those ones…so, since I wore those jeans yesterday I don’t know what to wear…”

Nagisa made a face, like he was concentrating on something that was much more important than Makoto’s current dilemma. “Ok, it’s the middle of June…while the movie theater does get chilly—fucking AC on high—you could always wear that nicer pair of shorts. You know, the khaki colored ones. And then you could wear a gray t-shirt and your red flannel. You look great in that flannel and it can help cut the chill of the theater.”

Makoto thought about it…yeah, that would work. “Thanks, Nagisa! I’m so sorry for interrupting your date—I really appreciate the help!”

“No problem, Makoto. Now, I am going to say goodbye. Rei and I have some quality making out to get to.”

“Nagisa! I thought we were actually going to watch this movie…” Rei chuckled. Makoto saw Nagisa smile and wiggle his eyebrows toward where Rei must be.

“Uh, ok. Enjoy the movie you two…”

—

Makoto ended up wearing what Nagisa suggested, no surprise there, and while he was still waiting for time to slowly pass, cleaned and washed his truck before heading out to the theater. The mall lot wasn’t that full, and he was able to find a spot near the theater. He looked at the time and realized he still had about 10 minutes before they were supposed to meet. Getting out of the truck he walked to the theater ticket windows. _I might as well wait out here. It’s still nice and gray but at least it’s warm and the rain has let up. _Walking over to where there was a bit of an overhang, Makoto pulled out his phone and began thumbing through his notifications—trying to kill time.

He was so distracted that he kept looking up, unable to focus on anything. After about 5 minutes he glanced up—for about the millionth time—and saw Haru walking though the parking lot to the ticket window. He was wearing a pair of light jeans and a charcoal gray shirt that stretched across his slim frame. _Man, he looks nice. And he’s here 10 minutes early. Not as early as I was, but still, maybe I’m not the only one who’s anxious. _Makoto pushed away from the concrete wall and caught Haru’s attention. He could feel the blush when his eyes met Haru’s, remembering the images from the morning. _I knew I shouldn’t have indulged in my thoughts—how can I look at him now? Agh!_ Ducking his head, Makoto jogged to where Haru waited near the ticket window.

“Hi, Makoto,” Haru greeted, sounding a bit unsure. _Did he notice me staring? God, he knows I had lewd thoughts about him. He knows. He has to know._

Makoto cleared his throat, “Hi, Haru. I was early, so I’m kinda glad that you got here when you did. I was trying to kill time by going through my phone, but it just wasn’t working well.” Makoto stopped. _Shoot. I basically just admitted that I was here waiting because I was so excited to be here with him. God, he’s going to think I’m pitiful, isn’t he?_

Haru smiled at Makoto, looking up into his green eyes. “Yeah, I was trying to kill time at home, but I got tired of waiting so I came early.” _Whew! It seems like they were in the same boat._ Both wanting to see the other, but neither of them really wanting to come across as desperate. Makoto smiled back, happy that he wasn’t the only one feeling this way.

Haru paid for the tickets and they went inside where Makoto paid for a popcorn and a soda. They decided to share since the prices—and sizes—were outrageous. Makoto blushed again, thinking about indirect kisses and how he and Haru’s lips would both be on the straw, before he shook his head—_Makoto, you’re American, it’s not that big of a deal here. It’ll be a big deal when my actual lips touch his._ Just the thought of that happening had him blushing even harder. Haru looked at him, questioningly. “Nothing, Haru. It’s ok.” Makoto smiled softly and tried to settle his racing heartbeat down. _How the heck am I going to sit by him for over 2 hours?_

Haru

The movie was over. Makoto had been right. It was excellent. But, it had been hard to fully concentrate when he could feel Makoto’s knee pressed against his, and when their hands brushed together in the popcorn bucket that sat in between the seats after they pushed the armrest out of the way. It was distracting, how much every little touch affected him. As the lights came back on, he looked to his left, to where Makoto was…wiping away tears? _Really? I mean, the end was a bit touching, but really? _Haru chuckled and Makoto looked at him immediately—embarrassment covering his face as he tried to be discreet in trying to hide any evidence of his tears.

“You were right. That was a good movie.”

“Yeah! I think I liked it even better this time. Since I already knew what was happening I was able to see all of the time they spent foreshadowing things that completely went over my head the first time I saw it.” Haru liked how Makoto’s smile lit up his entire face. _That isn’t fair. He’s like the sun. Everything that he looks at lights up._

“Well, we can’t stay here…” Haru began to stand, gathering the trash from their snacks.

“Uh, right. Would you like to walk around the mall a bit?” Haru looked down at Makoto. _How old does Makoto think we are? Are we going to stop by the arcade and wait for our parents to pick us up from the food court?_

Makoto laughed. “I know, I know. We aren’t kids. But, we didn’t really get to talk at all because we came to a movie. And…I’d like to talk with you. So, basically, while I know it’s a bit childish—like, Ren and Ran don’t even come to the mall anymore—I’m not quite ready to say goodbye to you.” Makoto looked at Haru expectantly as he began, too, to stand.

_Wow. He had no problems being honest and vulnerable. That really took a lot of courage to just come out and say that he wanted to hang out some more._ Haru was surprised. He hadn’t expected Makoto to push for them to do something after. Sure he had hoped that the date wouldn’t be over after the movie, but the movie was all they had really planned for.

“Well, it’s almost dinner. Why don’t we go to the restaurant that’s at the mall? Don’t they have burgers and stuff? We could talk there?”

Makoto looked down at him, making Haru all too aware that he was quite a few inches shorter than Makoto and that they were standing pretty close together in the aisle. Makoto smiled, “Thanks, Haru! That would be good.”

—

Over the next few hours they talked about everything. Haru was surprised that he offered so much so willingly. Maybe that’s because Makoto was an open book. By the end of the evening Haru knew everything about him. Really. Why he began farming. What happened with each and every one of his exes. It was like Makoto was trying to scare Haru off—either that or daring him to stay. Makoto explained it like this—“If I tell you all of the bad parts of me and you decide you’d still like to talk to me, I consider that a win.” What a novel idea. Haru liked it, so he did the same thing. Makoto now knew everything. How Haru and Rin got together, how Haru had given up swimming and got more responsibilities at the restaurant. What happened after he first met Makoto—three days ago.

_Holy fuck. Three days. This guy basically knows everything about me and I’ve only known him three days._

Makoto looked at Haru, smiling softly, “It’s weird, right? Like, We’ve really only known each other three days and I already feel like you are one of the closest friends I have. Like we are meant to be good friends. Do I sound like an emotional teenager? I’m not meaning to, I swear…” Makoto’s voice trailed off and Haru smiled.

At some point in the night they had worked their way back to Makoto’s truck, their conversation continuing regardless of where they were. Haru’s car was only a few parking lanes away, but he really didn’t want to get out of the truck yet.

Makoto seemed to sense Haru’s reticence. “You don’t have to leave yet. I know it’s weird to just hang out in my truck, but I really enjoy talking with you.” Makoto’s voice softened and he looked down at his lap. “I know it’s really forward of me, and this is moving really fast—like, really, really, fast—but…I like you, Haru. I really like you. I think you are amazing. You’re smart, and funny, and, man, you are super attractive. I would like to stay here in this truck and talk to you all night. In fact, if you aren’t busy tomorrow maybe we could do this again?”

Haru looked at Makoto, shocked at his sincerity and courage. “Uh, yes. I actually am free tomorrow, so I don’t have any plans, and I would really like to do something like this again.” Haru felt his heart pick up speed, knowing what he was going to say next. Makoto’s beautifully expressive eyes were staring at him, recognizing that he wasn’t done with his thought and waiting for Haru to finish it. “Um…in fact, maybe we could continue this tonight?” _Holy shit. I said it. I basically asked him to stay the night—or for me to stay the night. Well, for one of us to stay the night._

Makoto looked like he had just won the lottery. His face lit up. “Uh, would you like to come to the farmhouse? I have some tea, or beer, and some dessert.”

“Ha, I’m actually not one for sweets.”

Makoto looked so hilariously affronted, and then he chuckled, “Why didn’t you tell me that before?!”

Haru smiled, knowing that Makoto was only teasing, and replied, “Is that the deal breaker?”

Makoto tilted his head back, laughing. “Uh, no, not at all. In fact, that is really a deal maker. It means that once we’re totally committed to one another I’ll always get double desserts since you won’t want yours. It’s the best.”

Haru laughed along with him.

—

They decided to got to the farm, in separate cars. That way Makoto wouldn’t have to leave his house to take Haru back home. After some tea, and Makoto eating the promised two slices of cake, they sat together on the couch, reveling in the comfortable silence. Haru looked at the clock on the wall and wasn’t really surprised to see that it was nearly one in the morning. They had spent the entire evening and night together—and Haru was still enjoying himself. Makoto was caring, and funny, and even though there were so many things that he tried to tell Haru were negatives, like he got too attached, or he was a bit prone to jealousy, Haru was still enamored with the brunet. _It doesn’t hurt that he’s super hot, and cute, and sweet._

Haru looked over and saw that in the silence Makoto had closed his eyes. Smiling, Haru leaned over and nudged Makoto with his shoulder. “Hey, Makoto, I should get going. It’s almost one and you’re tired—and I’m tired—and I still have a good 15 minute drive home.”

“You could always—”

“No, I couldn’t. I appreciate it, but honestly, if I did I don’t know that I could keep my hands to myself.” At that Makoto’s eyes snapped open. Haru knew how he felt. There’s something that happens in the middle of the night when you feel free saying things that you would never say in the light of day. Haru could feel the blush creeping up his face, but he made sure to maintain Makoto’s eye contact. He wanted Makoto to know how much he liked him—and to know, definitively, that it wasn’t only in a friendship sort of way. He knew that Makoto had fooled around with some guys in the past, but also knew that Makoto had never been in any type of relationship with a man. He wanted to make sure that Makoto knew that Haru liked him like that. Like in an I want to kiss you kind of way. And, God, did Haru want to kiss him.

Makoto stood from the couch and held his right hand out to Haru, helping him to his feet. “Come on, I’ll walk you to your car.”

“Thanks.”

As they walked to the car, Makoto didn’t drop his hand. Haru was surprised at the callouses that were on Makoto’s palms. Their fingers intertwined, and Haru noticed that Makoto’s hand was not only bigger than his, but was also broader and sturdier. While Haru always hated his hands for being delicate looking, Makoto’s were perfect. Masculine and strong, but at the same time impossibly gentle—a bit like Makoto in general.

It was still drizzling outside. The rain from the morning had turned into a nearly all day event. Makoto led Haru to his car, the rain spritzing at their figures. As Haru reached the driver’s side door he turned and looked up at Makoto. “I, uh, had a great day. How about I text you when I get up and we can see what’s going on?”

Makoto, his hair starting to drip in the light rain, looked down at Haru and leaned closer. He brought his hand up to the back of Haru’s neck, where Haru could feel the warmth of his hand in direct contrast to the cool rain that was starting to come down a bit harder. He looked up at Makoto’s eyes, surprised to see that they were much closer than he expected. He closed his eyes and licked his lips, missing the look that Makoto gave him. A few seconds passed. Haru opened his eyes to see Makoto looking at him questioningly. Haru smiled, nodded slightly, and closed his eyes again, letting Makoto know that he wanted this too.

A second later, Haru felt the most gentle pressure against his lips. Warm and soft, amidst the cool sprinkles of a summer rain. He smiled into the gentle kiss and felt Makoto’s demeanor change. All of a sudden he was pulled forward into Makoto’s arms, both of Makoto’s hands reached to hold Haru’s face, and Makoto licked at Haru’s lower lip—asking for permission. Haru was helpless to say no. All he could think and feel and taste was Makoto. Makoto had invaded his mind and his body, and he felt himself lose any self control he had. Makoto kissed him like he had been waiting to kiss him for centuries. Like he was a man starving for contact, like he was a lover who had been away for too long. Haru was caught up in the feeling, and moaned into the kiss. That moan broke Makoto out of his passionate reverie. His body was fully pushed up against Haru’s, whose back was flush with the car, and Haru could feel—everything. Makoto’s heart hammering away, the piercing gaze he was giving him, but most of all, the hard length that was pushing into Haru’s inner hip. He knew that Makoto could feel the same things. He was an open book to Makoto, unable to hide anything.

Makoto backed father away, leaned down and opened Haru's door for him, moving aside to let Haru get in. Haru looked at Makoto in a daze, still shocked by the passion of that kiss. 

"Please text me to let me know you made it home ok? I'll be up." Makoto leaned in and gave Haru a swift peck on the lips. Haru, still not moving at full speed, climbed into the car and buckled up. 

"Sure. Night, Makoto."

"Night, Haru."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for everyone who has taken time to read my little story. I appreciate all of the comments and kudos. It really does make my day to know that something I did made someone happy. Thank you!


	6. The Bedroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto and Haru's relationship progresses and includes a sleepover. Makoto has some realizations and accidentally lets Haru in on the secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided that since Makoto is with a man for the first time he's going to bottom. For those of you who don't like either a) smut, or b) Makoto bottoming, you can skip the sex scene at the page break after the following word: Perfect. It will then be in Haru's POV. Then you can pick it back up after the next break.

Makoto

After their first date they spent nearly every day together—and the days they didn’t see one another they would text continuously. Makoto couldn’t believe it. It’s been like a whirlwind—taking him for the ride of his life. He and Haru had opened up about everything, they had spent time at both Makoto’s farm and Haru’s apartment, and had gotten really good at taking each other’s breaths away with the passion of their kisses.

Despite how comfortable he was with Haru, Makoto would still—sometimes—become a nervous wreck and let his anxiety get to him. He’d never dated a man before, and he was acutely aware of the stares some people gave them as they walked down the sidewalk, hand in hand. Because of those stares he was hesitant to kiss Haru in public, so after their dates he would often wait until they were in the car to give Haru a kiss. He’d talked to Nagisa and Rei about it, and they were surprised that he had never noticed the stares when he was out with them. _So, this is just something I’ll have to get over? I can’t believe I hadn’t noticed people staring at Nagisa and Rei when they were being all cute together. Now I feel like a jerk, since I only notice it when I am on the receiving end of the looks._

It’s not that all of the people who see them stare disapprovingly. In fact, many young people smile a little at them, as a show of support—_but even that makes me feel weird. Like, why do they need to show their support? This never happened when I dated women—people never blatantly showed their approval or disapproval. _His nervousness was affecting how he acted with Haru out in public. Right now, as a matter of fact, they were at a restaurant—Haru had left the table to use the bathroom, and Makoto had noticed the looks that followed him. _Well, that could also be because he’s so handsome._

Haru returned, sat at the booth and opened his menu. A small smile flitted across his face. “Ha, Haru—what’s so funny?”

Haru looked at Makoto wistfully, the smile making the right side of his lip raise. “Have you ever had a time where you were obsessed with a food and it’s all you wanted to eat?”

“Ha, yeah! I remember when I was five all I wanted was peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches. They were so sweet and gooey. That lasted about a month maybe. Then I moved onto something else.”

“Yeah, so, when I was younger I was obsessed with mackerel.”

Makoto snorted, “Mackerel?—I mean, it’s tasty!”

“No, you don’t understand the depths of my obsession. It was the first thing I learned to cook, and I ate it—and only it—for 6 years or so…” Haru smirked and looked at the menu, pulling it in front of his slight blush. “Ok, maybe not ONLY it—my parents and Rin really tried hard to get me to eat other things, but it was—by far—my favorite. So, when I started cooking, I would always choose mackerel at restaurants and by that one piece of fish I determined how good of a place it was. When I first went to my restaurant I was a culinary student and I tried the mackerel escabeche…it was amazing. I immediately went and asked to work there.”

Makoto chuckled at Haru’s story—thinking of a little Haru’s love of a small fish. “So, are you going to get the mackerel here, then?”

“Sure am,” Haru replied, chuckling on his own, and dropping the menu to the table. Haru reached out a hand to touch Makoto’s fingers. Makoto stiffened and looked around himself to see if anyone was watching them.

Makoto was sure Haru noticed his reticence. “Makoto—what’s going on? You seem jumpy lately.”

Makoto took a deep breath, “It’s just that I’ve never really dated a man before and now I notice that people are always looking at us—and not always nicely. It makes me feel weird…”

“Well, fuck them.” Haru’s blunt response made Makoto start.

“HARU!”

“You have to realize that I’ve only dated Rin…and…so I have always experienced some stares, but it doesn’t matter to me. Even if we were the typical hetero couple there would still be people who wouldn’t approve, you know. There would be those who would think you are too handsome for me—or those who would think that we are too young to really be serious...”

“Wait—do you think I’m too handsome?” Makoto was shocked. _If anything Haru is the beautiful one. _Haru immediately grabbed for his water glass and tried to get out of answering.

“Haru—wait—don’t try to avoid this!”

Haru sighed and Makoto reached for his hand. He decided that Haru was right—it didn’t really matter to him if people were staring at them. Right now he just wanted to touch Haru.

“…Soooo, you think I’m handsome? Too handsome?” Makoto could tell that Haru was aware that he was only teasing, but he also wanted to let Haru know that he saw things in the exact reverse. “Haru—if anything they are realizing that YOU are too gorgeous for ME.” Makoto lowered his eyes and his hand—feeling surprisingly vulnerable for a mid-afternoon lunch. _This is not how I expected this date to go._

“Makoto, I guess we’ll just have to agree that we think the other is too good looking.”

Makoto looked up, a faint flush on his cheeks. He smiled softly, “Ok. And I’m sorry for stressing about doing small things in public.”

“Eh, it’s ok. Really, I’m not that big into public affection—but, I also don’t want to have to limit myself when I want to touch you. I mean, holding hands, a little kiss, those things should be giving us butterflies, not anxiety—right?” Haru looked up at Makoto through his eyelashes, his blue eyes drawing Makoto in.

Before Makoto knew it he was leaning over the table and his lips were pressed against Haru’s. _Ha! I bet now people are staring—and why shouldn’t they? Here are two good looking men who are in…wait—I was thinking it, wasn’t I?! It’s too soon to say it, but I can think it. And I think he feels the same way. Love._

Makoto sat back into his chair and Haru opened his eyes. They stared at each other before they heard a cough.

”Excuse me? Are you ready to order?”

Makoto looked at Haru and said, “He’ll have the mackerel, right, Haru?” Haru smiled at him and nodded, adding, “I’ll also have a side of grilled vegetables to go with it.”

Makoto couldn’t take his eyes off Haru; he wouldn’t even be able to tell someone what the waiter looked like. “And I’ll have salmon and the grilled veggies, please.”

After their lunch, they walked—hand in hand—through the shopping district. Makoto was thrilled with the recent revelations. First, Haru was just as attracted to him as he was to Haru. He knew that he shouldn’t be that surprised, after all they had been seeing each other continuously for over a week. _Way too short of a time for me to fall in love. That seems really irresponsible, doesn’t it._

Makoto looked down at Haru—who was walking quietly to his left. “So—your birthday is coming up, right?”

“Yeah, it’s next Friday.”

“Do you have it off from work?”

“Uh, no—why would I?”

“But, Haru! It’s your birthday!”

“Yeah, but I’m going to be 26 not 5. I don’t have to make a big deal about it…” Haru looked up at Makoto suspiciously. Makoto turned his head and tried to hide his features.

“I had been thinking that…maybe…we could…spendtheweekendtogether.” Makoto’s nervousness caused the last few words of his sentence to run all together like one long word. Haru looked at him, confused. _I don’t think he understood me._

“Why is that nerve-wracking, Makoto? We are spending this weekend together, aren’t we? Why would next weekend…,” Haru’s voice trailed off and Makoto could tell that he was beginning to understand. They stopped walking, Haru turned to look Makoto directly in the eyes, both of them flushed and staring at one another.

“Makoto…really? You want to…?”

“Ha, yeah, I do—but I also wanted to be able to lounge around with you regardless…even if nothing really happens…like, without any responsibilities for the entire weekend. I already have the twins taking care of the farmer’s market table for Saturday. They’ll have some of their friends helping out…”

“YES! —” Makoto swore that was the loudest he had ever heard Haru’s voice, “I mean…yes, I will request the entire weekend off, then. For next weekend. Friday through Sunday. So, I won’t have to go back to work until Monday.”

Makoto chuckled at Haru’s cute ramblings. He leaned down and kissed him, not caring that both of their faces were red, or that Haru’s outburst had caused several people to stop and stare. _Perfect._

—

Haru

Haru looked at Makoto, surprised. He hadn’t expected this. They had planned this weekend in advance, going to the drugstore and buying condoms and extra lube. They had been spending more time together since their first date, which led to their second date, which—after Makoto asked him about this weekend—led to a few sleep-overs, but, surprisingly they had kept everything above the belt. They had decided to take things a little slower than they could have, and since they both had the entire weekend off, and it was Haru’s birthday, they made plans for tonight. The entire weekend. In Haru’s apartment. In the bedroom. The Bedroom—where the bed was.

_Am I starting to get nervous about having sex with Makoto? But, he’s perfect. And he wants me. Like, literally, wants me. Wants me to…_

Haru was shocked as he lay above Makoto. “Haru, it’s ok if you don’t want to. I mean, we hadn’t really talked about specifics. And, I’m guessing, with guys there should be some idea of who’s going to do what.” Makoto, lying on the bed, naked, his hair all wild, his lips already red from passionate kisses, looked up at him. Makoto’s body was something from magazines, so masculine and proportionate. He was huge—his chest and shoulders were easily almost twice the size of Haru’s. His abs were an eight pack. _An eight pack! Like, what the hell? He’s so fucking hot._ His thighs were thick and solid, and his ass—_God, his ass. How is it both so muscular and so soft? And his cock—fucking God, it’s huge._ Haru’s mouth was watering just looking at Makoto.

“You really want me to top? But, it’s your first time with a guy, and you’re so…big…and…I thought that you would want to…” Haru averted his eyes, feeling like he had exposed too much. Makoto was beautiful, the look on his face—open and trusting—his body…_fuck, he’s so perfect. _He felt his chest tighten, overwhelmed with the need to just touch Makoto.

“Haru,” Makoto whispered as he lifted up his right hand to Haru’s face. “I know all of those things and I do want to do it that way, too, but this time—this first time—I want to feel you in a way that I’ve never felt with anyone before.”

Haru didn’t know what to say—so he said nothing. Leaning down, over Makoto’s larger frame, he put his hands on Makoto’s face and drew him into a deep kiss. He knew that Makoto was entrusting him with something—he felt protective of Makoto. He wanted to do this right. Not that he hadn’t before when he thought it was going to play out differently, but now that he knew Makoto was trusting him to do something he had never done before, he wanted to make the experience perfect.

Haru pulled away from the kiss and smiled at Makoto. “Ok, Makoto. I’m totally willing to do this.” He reached across the bed to where they had placed the lube and condoms. Picking up the bottle he leaned himself up onto his left arm and opened the flip cap. Pouring a little onto the fingers of his right hand he rubbed his fingers together to warm up the liquid. He leaned over Makoto’s face and said, “Are you ready?” Lightly kissing Makoto’s neck he worked his way up to his earlobes. He could hear Makoto sigh as his fingers started exploring Makoto’s perineum. Makoto sighed into the kisses and the feeling, “Yeah, Haru—as ready as I’ll ever be.”

Haru gently ran his middle finger around Makoto’s hole, teasing him with the sensation. Makoto moaned softly, relaxing into it. Haru eased his finger in slowly, feeling Makoto tense at the intrusion. “Ha, Makoto—you need to relax.”

Makoto started chuckling, “But, Haru, it feels so…weird.” Haru smiled, stifling chuckles of his own. He could feel Makoto’s muscles squeezing with every laugh. _Holy fuck—this is going to feel amazing_. The strength of Makoto’s muscles and the idea that soon they would be wrapped around his cock were enough to get Haru’s finger moving more purposefully. He began with gentle, shallow thrusts, twisting his finger and widening Makoto—whose laughter had stopped, but smile remained.

Soon Makoto was rocking his hips in tandem with the thrusts of Haru’s finger and he decided it was time to add another one. Pulling his middle finger mostly out, Haru inched his index finger in alongside it. Makoto gasped, and Haru looked up at his face to make sure that he was ok. “It’s ok, Makoto—just breathe.” Haru could see Makoto’s flush from his mid chest to his face, his eyes closed in concentration. Shifting his weight onto his left knee, Haru reached up to Makoto’s face with his left hand. “Hey, gorgeous, look at me.” Those green eyes opened, the lashes stuck together, _hopefully from sweat,_ and Makoto gazed up at Haru. Haru couldn’t believe how lucky he was. Here, under him, was the kindest, gentlest, most amazing man—and this was really happening. He felt his own eyes begin to tear up with how overwhelmed he felt. Makoto smiled at him, “Haru, it’s ok. You can keep going.”

Haru eased the second finger in, repeating the movements and searching for the one spot that would make Makoto melt. Makoto once again began rolling his hips and with one particular thrust of Haru’s fingers his back arched and he gasped loudly. “Haru!”

“Shh…it’s ok…it’s ok, I’ve got you.” Now that Haru knew where to find it he began teasing Makoto a bit more. He brought his head down to Makoto’s leaking cock—so big and full—and he began to kiss around the shaft, licking along the vein on the underside. Makoto was engrossed now. He was fully consumed and Haru let go of his cock to get some more lube before adding a third finger. Makoto lifted his hips, eyes closed, searching for the return of the sensation. Haru smiled against his thigh, shaking his head. “Just a second, Mako…” After pouring some more lube onto his right fingers, Haru added a third and began to suck on Makoto’s cock in earnest. He let his fingers stay still until he felt Makoto relax around him, and then he began thrusting and stretching.

Makoto’s head was twisting from side to side, his hips were bucking, and Haru could taste the tang of pre-come on his tongue. Haru felt Makoto’s body tensing and pulled away—eliciting a whine from Makoto. “Almost ready, Mako.”

“Haru, please….” Haru removed his fingers, grabbed a wet wipe and wiped them off, and then opened a condom, rolling it down over his own rock-hard cock. He flipped open the lube and poured some onto his dick, pumping it a few times to spread the liquid around. Lifting Makoto’s knees to place his feet flat on the bed, Haru braced his knees on the outside of Makoto’s hips he looked down at Makoto, “So, for the first time it’s supposed to be easier if you’re on your knees with your ass up—”

“Fuck that!” Haru had never heard Makoto curse—_shit that’s a turn on—_, "I need to see your face, Haru.” Makoto was looking at him so intently, his green eyes clouded over with lust, but still focused on Haru.

“Ok, ok, I was just giving you the option.” Haru was glad Makoto decided to do it facing one another. He blushed as he whispered, “I need to see your face, too, Mako.”

Lining up his cock with Makoto’s stretched hole, Haru looked at Makoto and began to push forward. Makoto grabbed behind his knees, so that Haru could angle his body closer to Makoto’s, their stomachs pressed against one another and Makoto’s huge, weeping cock trapped between them. Haru thrust in with more purpose, trying to find that spot that had left Makoto keening. His thrusts became more fluid and controlled after Makoto fully relaxed. Leaning down to kiss Makoto, his eyes fluttered open to see Makoto staring back at him. “Mako,” Haru whispered, breathing into Makoto's mouth, unable to control his breath.

“It’s good, Haru…so good…” Makoto’s voice was barely audible, but he squirmed underneath Haru’s smaller frame, their sweat and Makoto’s pre-come starting to slick up their bodies. Haru smiled at him and began moving faster, pushing in hard and fast, while pulling out agonizingly slow. Makoto’s eyes closed and his breath started to come in gasping heaves. Haru shifted his weight farther back and the new angle had Makoto crying out in ecstasy, his head pushed back into the pillow. “Haru! Haru! There—fuck, there—right there. Holy fuck.” Makoto’s babbling started becoming nonsensical, random fucks, shits, and yeses, filling the bedroom air. Time slowed as he focused on Makoto, his voice, his smell, and how perfect he felt under him. Haru didn’t know how much longer he could last. Makoto’s body was a masterpiece. His muscles rolled with each thrust, and his hole was so tight and hot wrapped around Haru’s cock. Haru closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling of being surrounded and engulfed by such a perfect man. Makoto’s breathing quickened even more—gasping moans that went straight to Haru’s cock. Haru began thrusting even faster and deeper, knowing that every thrust was pounding straight into Makoto’s prostate. He felt Makoto’s body tense around him a second before he felt the warmth of Makoto’s come hit their stomachs. Makoto screamed and wrapped his hips around Haru’s waist, his muscles holding Haru, his feet pushing against Haru’s hips to pull him even farther inside. Haru couldn’t take it anymore, his vision whited out and he yelled, his hips thrusting one last time into Makoto.

—

Haru was in a daze. Leaning over Makoto he had no idea how long it had been since they finished. Makoto’s breathing had evened, and Haru thought he might even be asleep. He heard a whisper—probably one he wasn’t meant to hear. “Love you…Haru…” Haru smiled, his face resting against Makoto’s bare chest, and whispered back, “Love you, too, Mako…”, before letting sleep take over.


	7. Epilogue: Their House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few years later we get a peek into the lives of Makoto and Haru and see what their new dreams are.

Haru

Haru was in the kitchen, holding a little boy in his arms. The cute brunet child looked up at him with big, green eyes and said, “I wan more sup.”

“You mean you want more soup.”

“Uh-huh,” the boy nodded, “I wan more sup.”

Haru smiled, and looked down at the boy—now almost 2—and said, “Ok, it’s almost ready. You can try another sip and then once it’s ready I’ll get you your own bowl, ok?” Holding the wooden spoon up to the boy’s lips he heard a small slurp. “Ok, that was the last sip. Now, it has to simmer for another 10 minutes. But it tastes good, right?” Haru liked to use the boy as his taste tester. If he liked it, everyone would like it.

“Uh-huh! It yummy.” Haru put the boy down, but he just stood there, holding onto Haru’s pant leg and looking up at him. “When Daddy come?”

Haru looked at the clock—it was almost 5:30pm—“Daddy will be here soon, don’t worry. You know he gets off work at 5 and right now it’s almost 5:30. So that means he’s almost here.”

“Kay!” The boy turned and ran into the living room, which was adjacent to the kitchen, making it easy for Haru to keep an eye on him.

After a minute of watching him play with his toys, Haru heard voices in the hallway. Walking through the living room to the hallway Haru saw Makoto and Ren taking off their shoes.

“Wow—you both got here at the same time?” Haru smiled at the Tachibana men, leaning up to give Makoto a small peck on the lips.

Ren chuckled, “Yeah, we ran into each other outside—how was Jack today?”

Hearing his name the little boy ran into the hallway, “Daddy! Daddy! Unkee Haru gave me sup!”

“Were you good for Uncle Haru, today, Jack?”

“Uh-huh! So good!” Ren looked at Haru for confirmation.

Haru smiled, “Yep, Ren, he was great, as usual. He’s such a happy kid.”

“You know Emily and I really appreciate you watching him during the days, right?”

Haru rolled his eyes, “You know you don’t have to tell me that every time you get him, right?” Makoto laughed, looking between his brother and his husband, happy with how everything worked out. Haru rolled his eyes at Makoto—totally aware of what he was thinking. “Anyway, since I can only do it twice a week, it’s not much to thank me for.”

“You know that’s not true! Daycare is so expensive, and it really helps us out…plus, Jack loves being with you. And he’s always so well-behaved after he comes here. Not like when he comes back home from the daycare—when he comes back from there he’s a hellion.”

“Daddy, wha’s hell-onion?” Ren reached down and picked Jack up, laughing, “You, Jack—when you come home from daycare.”

Haru led them into the living room, Makoto stepped into the office with his briefcase. “Can you stay for dinner, or is Emily on her way home?”

“No, she’s working the night shift tonight. I guess someone called off and one of her patients isn’t doing too well, so she decided to stay to keep an eye on her—so yes! Jack and I would love to stay for dinner, right, buddy?!”

Jack jumped up and down on his father’s hip, “Uh-huh! And Unkee Haru’s sup is soooooo tasty, Daddy!”

“I know, buddy!” Ren paused and added in a dramatic whisper to his son’s ear, “That’s because Uncle Haru is a famous chef. And we get to eat his food for free!” Ren grinned at Jack, giving him a kiss and ruffling his hair before setting him back down on the ground. “Ok, why don’t you play some more?”

“Kay, Daddy!” Jack’s little legs took off toward the pile of toys that his uncles had acquired over the years.

Makoto

Makoto joined them in the kitchen, looked over at Jack playing and smiled at Haru, who was standing at the stove stirring the soup.

“How was your day, Mako?” Ren asked.

“Eh, the norm. You know, checking out high school swimmers and trying to get them to come to the university.” About three years ago Makoto sold the farm, and with a little help from Nagisa, who was now a professor at the local university, he started working as an athletic recruiter. While he really was supposed to recruit for all sports everyone knew that his passion was swimming, so he always got the swimming recruit detail. It paid well, he was on a mostly regular schedule, and he didn’t have to travel that much, except during tournament season. _And—since I always get a paid hotel room for tournaments Haru and I basically get free get-aways several times a year!_ After that first time, Makoto and Haru had barely been able to keep their hands off one another. _For someone who had been so anxious about public affection I got over that, didn’t I?_

Haru noticed Makoto’s gaze and rolled his eyes, knowing what he was thinking about. Makoto loved when Ren and Jack were able to stay for dinner, but at the same time, he also loved when he had Haru all to himself. _Especially under me—or over me…well, just with me either way._ Makoto’s eyes went back to Haru, who smirked and turned away from him.

Not being subtle at all, Ren smiled and said, “Are you sure you don’t mind us staying? It seems like you might want some alone time…”

Makoto blushed, recognizing that, as usual, he was completely transparent to those he loved the most. “Nah, it’s good. We love having you and Jack over!”

Ren laughed, “Yeah, I don’t doubt that, but right now you look like you want Unkee Haru all to yourself.” Ren smiled at his older brother, who was still bigger and taller than him—although not by much—and got up from the kitchen chair to join his son in the living room. Makoto smiled at his retreating form, knowing that Ren was giving him some alone time with his husband—which he appreciated greatly.

Makoto walked over to the stove, where Haru was pretending not to notice that he was approaching, and wrapped his arms around Haru’s waist, leaning his head into Haru’s neck and kissing him there. “I missed you.”

“Silly…you just saw me this morning.” _And boy had I seen him. Sweaty and squirming under me…stop thinking about it Makoto! Your nephew is here and in the other room—you don’t need to explain a giant boner to a 2 year old._ Trying to get a hold of himself, Makoto replied, “Yeah, but we didn’t even get to cuddle after, and I missed that.”

Haru whispered back to Makoto—“Well, maybe if you kept an eye on the time and didn’t try to edge me for an hour you would have enough time to cuddle me to your heart’s content.”

Makoto laughed into Haru’s neck and whispered back, “You weren’t complaining this morning.”

“Of course not, but neither were you—and now that you are I’m just trying to be logical about it.”

Makoto sighed, “Well, can we cuddle later?” Haru turned and looked at him, Makoto knew that this was a yes.

Haru turned off the stove, got bowls, and called everyone to the table. After Ren placed Jack in the booster chair, they all sat and started talking about their days.

Jack, usually quiet when eating Uncle Haru’s food, asked, “Unkee Moto? When you were liddle what did you wanna be?”

Haru smiled at the boy and looked expectantly at Makoto. “Uh, I guess I wanted to be a fireman.” Makoto could tell that Haru was surprised. Hadn’t they talked about this stuff before?

“Fireman!” Jack yelled. “Me too! Me too!” He then looked at Haru, and Makoto could see Haru thinking. “What bout you, Unkee Haru?”

Haru smiled, “When I was your age I wanted to be a merman.”

Jack looked so confused. “Like a fishy?”

Haru chuckled, “Kinda like a mermaid—like Ariel—but a boy.”

Jack nodded. “Unkee Haru’s pretty enough to be a mermaid.” Makoto laughed at the look on Haru’s face—both pleased and kind of scandalized.

“Uh, thanks, Jack,” Haru responded, scowling at Makoto for laughing.

“Hey, Jack, I bet your Uncle Makoto thinks Uncle Haru is pretty, too, right Uncle Makoto?” Ren asked his son, giving Makoto a knowing look.

Makoto blushed, looking straight into Haru’s eyes, “Yeah, Jack. Your Uncle Haru is beautiful.”

—

After the youngest Tachibana men left the house, Makoto leaned over the sink, washing the dinner dishes.

“Hey, Haru—” Makoto started, not knowing exactly where he was going with his thoughts.

“Yeah?” Haru walked over and grabbed a towel to dry the dishes, looking at Makoto expectantly.

“What…really…were your dreams when you were younger?”

“Well, before Rin got hurt I thought I would swim and cook and draw. And then I stopped swimming—I’m glad we got back into it, though!—and became a chef and didn’t really have time to draw. Why?” Haru looked at Makoto, sensing that something was off.

“Do you ever feel like you missed something since you didn’t achieve your dreams?”

Haru smirked, “No way. Because of all of the stuff that has happened I have new dreams. Dreams that include you.” He leaned to his right and bumped shoulders with his worry-wart of a husband.

“New dreams? What are your new dreams?” Makoto glanced down at Haru, pulling the stopper from the sink, and letting the suds wash away.

“Well, eventually I’d like to open my own restaurant…in the very near future I’m going to cuddle the shit out of you..and in the distant future I was thinking…that…maybe…”

Makoto was on edge—what could Haru want that would make him so nervous? “Yeah, Haru, what were you thinking?”

Haru stepped away and turned to Makoto, a small smile on his lips and the hint of tears in his eyes. “I was thinking that it would be really nice to have a little green eyed kid of our own some day.”

Makoto was floored. He had wanted a child ever since Ren and Emily had gotten pregnant. Ran had already offered to be their surrogate, but he had never brought it up to Haru, thinking that he wasn’t really one for kids.

Makoto started crying, and he leaned over and picked Haru up into his arms, kissing him and repeating, “Really, Haru?! Really?”

Haru smiled down at him and said, “Yes, Mako…that’s my new dream.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks everyone for the support! This is the first fiction I've written in 20 years, and the first fanfic I've ever written. I hope you enjoy it! Please leave comments/kudos--I understand now when authors say that they make their day--because they really do. You can find me on Tumblr (I have the same name).


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